Learn CPR before getting physical with next-door neighbour

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/03/2016 (3524 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a sexy little relationship going on. I can go over and sleep with my next-door neighbour any time I want. He doesn’t want a girlfriend and I don’t want a boyfriend. Sex is all we do. I’ll phone and say, “Would you like me to come over?” He always says yes. It is fun and there’s no stress.

Lately, he’s been wanting to get into wilder sex scenes, but I hold back. The problem is he has a heart that gives him some problems and I’m worried something might happen. His doctor says he’s good to go for sex, “but not swinging from the chandelier.” So we have conventional sex, but I still worry, especially just after the big freight-train moment — is his heart is going to keep ticking after it? How do I get past this?

— Worried Sex Buddy, West End

Dear Worried Sex Buddy: Clearly, you think there’s a possibility he could have a heart attack. So you must ask yourself first, “Do I want to be involved with this man, since it isn’t a love relationship, and just a casual thing?”

You should ask your sex buddy for a full explanation of what heart problem he has, and the exact name of it (if it has one). Then do some research and visit your doctor (or his, if he’ll take you) with some detailed questions. At least ask what you should do if he starts to have trouble. Does he have medications he takes that should be by the bed?

Do you know how to do CPR while waiting for an ambulance? You should learn. Should you give him anything else like Aspirin? It would be good to hear advice from some readers who are doctors, and I encourage them to write in.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband comes home like a lion every day from work. He’s revved up, loud, full of bad energy and yells at our kids. He has a hard job and his friends all go to the gym after work and blow off steam together, but my man doesn’t want to use “family money” for something as frivolous as a gym membership.

He’s a very proud man and likes to support the family in a way that allows the kids to participate in extra-curricular sports and arts. I love him for that. but I hate his stormy bursts through the door that send my blood pressure skyrocketing. I have some money put away. Do you think it would be a good thing or an embarrassing thing to buy him a gym membership so he can join his buddies and leave his family alone until he calms down?

— Loving Old-Fashioned Wife, Brandon

Dear Loving Wife: First, find out if he would go to the gym after work if he had a membership, or if he would go later in the evening. There’s less point in buying a gym membership that doesn’t get him out of the house during “red hour,” but regular exercise could help calm him, no matter what the hour.

You have to work up to this. First, mention you would like to see him go to the gym with his friends. A week later, work it into the conversation again. If he sounds interested, then buy him the shortest membership you can so you can see if he actually uses it after work. If he says no to the whole gym idea, how about getting a second-hand treadmill as an alternative?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography