Are you really ready for a same-sex relationship?

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/03/2016 (3834 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: On a solo trip to Mexico, I got involved with another woman in a romance — an American. I’ve always been attracted to women, but didn’t know any gay women and never had a same-sex experience before. I had done my research and knew there would be a lot of lesbian women on this particular trip. What an experience; it was great and one I’ll never forget.

But, I think I will have to forget it when I am here in Winnipeg, since I hang out with a straight crowd of friends I don’t want to lose. What am I supposed to do as a secretly bisexual woman, go on a two-week trip once a year and meet a woman? It doesn’t make sense the other 50 weeks of the year. Please help.

— Mixed-Up Woman, Winnipeg

Dear Mixed-Up Woman: Why can’t you see more than one crowd of people in your life? You don’t mention a boyfriend right now, and you are certainly much more curious about female attraction these days. Why would you have to talk about your private life with the women you know in your straight Winnipeg crowd? Maybe you’re not quite ready to take the next step. You don’t know what’s-what right now, and probably need to go with the flow.

Remember: your love life is your private business, and you don’t need to seek approval and/or permission from anyone in your friend and family groups about who you see.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I used to steal. I was a poor kid and mad at the world for the unfairness of that and stole to even things out. I was clever and never got caught. I did a lot of boosting in my teens, and had a wonderful wardrobe no one could explain. I eventually went out and got a job in a fast-food joint. It turned out buying clothes with my own money felt better than stealing, so I quit my life of crime.

I thought this old story was harmless and told it to my new boyfriend of three months. He was shocked and turned off. He said, “So you have it in you to steal and be dishonest. How can I trust you?” I told him it was a long time ago when I was a poor, mixed-up kid, but am no longer that person. He hasn’t called in a week. What should I do?

— Honest Woman, South End

Dear Honest Woman: Do nothing. You brought yourself up and discovered on your own that it felt better to be honest and pay your own way. This guy wasn’t mature enough to see that and admire it. He also didn’t see it took honesty and courage for you to tell him that story, knowing you were taking a chance, and hoping he would understand. He didn’t, so he’s not the guy for you. He failed the test, not you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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