Sex worked better than acetaminophen

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/01/2017 (3538 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a bad tension headache when I went to bed, but when my husband joined me, he suggested sex might make the headache go away. I thought it was a crazy idea, but worth a try — and it worked! I doubt this would work with a serious headache such as a migraine, but my tensions melted away more and more, and then totally disappeared with the orgasm. I’d like to bottle this! Just thought I would pass it on as a little gift to your readers. — The Sexy Headache Cure, Windsor Park

Dear Sexy Headache Cure: A home remedy for a nuisance headache that actually works is worth passing on. Not that it will work for everybody — as we are all different — but if it turns a few bouts of a heachache into bouts of bliss, it’s a sweet gift. Thanks for writing in!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend is from a French town south of the city and speaks French with his friends and family. I lied and said I understood and spoke a lot more French than I do, so he thinks it’s OK to speak French when I am in these groups. I do a lot of nodding, and they must think I’m a quiet, shy person. I’m not! I’m just a liar who wanted to impress him. I want to get more involved with his friends, who also speak English, but don’t know what to do at this stage of the big lie. — Big Fat Language Liar, St. Boniface

Dear Big Fat Language Liar: You could start by saying, in French, to someone sitting next to you, “Could we speak in English for a few minutes? I’m not understanding everything you’re saying and it sounds interesting.” Someone who speaks two or more languages fluently is usually quite adept at switching gears. Meanwhile, you must study up if you want to hang with this gang for any length.

I went out with a French guy for a long time in my 20s and his mother talked about me in French like it was a big joke at Sunday family dinners. It wasn’t always nice. I was studying the language and really starting to get it when one day she said to my boyfriend at the table, “She’s a little bit fat and she’s not even Catholic.”

I got it, and I lost it on her and told her off in French. She was in shock and went very quiet, and then she got a little smile on her face and asked my boyfriend how long I had been speaking French. After that, she and I both laughed, and became good friends. She told me stuff she never told her Catholic kids about her life, her marriage and some of her tough experiences.

Even after the guy and I broke up, I used to go visit her and speak French and English. The bottom line is, if you want a French guy, it’s up to you to learn the language well.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I took my grandchildren out for dinner without their mother to teach them some restaurant manners. When I was trying to teach them about using their restaurant voices, they looked around and said, “But Grandma, those big people are talking loud, and so are those other people, and those ones, too.” They were right. In fact, the place was three-quarters full and it was like a competition to talk louder than the other people in the restaurant in order to be heard.

I know when I’m beaten. All I could tell them was I guess things had changed for casual restaurants, but when you are in a restaurant where it is fancier than the one we were in, you should lower your voice so everyone doesn’t have to hear your conversation and you don’t have to hear theirs. Do you think there’s any point in trying to teach kids old-fashioned manners? — Grandma Goofed? Winnipeg

Dear Grandma Goofed: Yes, there is good reason to teach kids how to behave in public, so they have those manners at their fingertips and can pull them out when appropriate. You could even teach them at your house which forks and knives are for what purpose and how to do a formal place setting, and then serve them a fancy dinner.

They may think you’re quaint, but they will never forget the formal dinner with mocktails and hors d’oeuvres, dinner music, candles, cloth napkins, fancy dishes and silverware and dinner conversation (have a few fun topics ready for discussion). Who knows where these kids might end up one day needing some table manners.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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