Mistress seeks revenge after being dumped

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This article was published 20/01/2017 (3536 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Last year I was in love with a married man, who ditched me for another woman. I feel like telling his wife. I feel like my feelings were trampled by a guy with two women who weren’t enough for him. I didn’t say anything when he dumped me because I was hurting too badly, but now I’m not and I’m up for a little revenge. He deserves it, doesn’t he?

— Blow the Whistle, Downtown

Dear Blow the Whistle: He may deserve trouble, but his wife is in an even worse position than you were — she’s married to the cheater. Does she depend on him for money and a decent life for her children? You knowingly had an affair with a married guy, so don’t get on your high horse now.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m feeling a gnawing of guilt in my gut. My girlfriend is hinting broadly that she wants an engagement ring for Valentine’s Day. I am starting to realize that as much as I initially thought I did want to marry her, I can’t take a whole lifetime of her. It was mostly her pretty face, great body and willingness to please in bed that got me going in the beginning. I’m already starting to feel a little bored.

She’s not an extremely intelligent woman, and not very ambitious either. Her favourite saying is “whatever,” flipped off in a sweet little-girl voice. I know now it’s a voice she uses with her dad when she wants something. She still lives with her parents. If he says no, she says a sweet “whatever,” but complains in an angry voice to me later.

Now what? I’m not ready to end this great sexual relationship, but she wants a life commitment. How can I tell her she’s too nice and/or boring? I wish she had the guts to say no to me, argue with me sometimes, be her true self and get some ambition. What should I do now?

— A Lousy Valentine, West End

Dear Lousy Valentine: Tell her honestly: “I don’t have the feelings I would need for us to be a forever couple.” She will be hurt and hate what you said, but it’s the truth. If she quizzes you, just say you don’t have a deep feeling about her and can’t pretend. There’s nothing you should do to change yourself.

There’s no need to tell her she’s boring, a bit babyish and not enough of a challenge intelligence-wise. Ouch. You have to say goodbye soon and get out of that relationship before February.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: When it was really cold last week, I went to my sister’s house and asked to sleep on their sofa, since it was too cold in my house. She said OK and put me to bed about 10 p.m. when she and her husband went to bed. About midnight, he went to the kitchen for water and I whispered, “Hi” to him. He came into the living room in his T-shirt and pyjama bottoms. I was in a flannel nightie with long sleeves.

We talked about life until about 2:30 a.m. Then my sister came in and said, “What’s going on here in the dark?” I told her nothing, we were just talking and asked her to join us. She yelled at me to get out of her house and I walked home about three blocks and almost froze. What is her problem?

— Innocent Little Sister, Winnipeg

Dear Innocent Little Sister: It’s about trust, appropriateness and what your sister thinks about her husband’s feelings for you, or yours for him. The best thing you can do is have a talk with her and say, “You may find your husband attractive, but I don’t! He’s a nice guy and all, but certainly not good-looking in my books and not for me.”

Say that right out. It’s rude and she will be annoyed, but also relieved. You should learn this much: no matter what your age, no woman wants her husband sitting in the dark talking with her sister in a nightgown, flannel or not.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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