Chatty stranger shopping for more than groceries

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This article was published 23/06/2017 (3341 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a guy at the grocery store and he said he was a friend of my brother’s. I told him that was a good line and he laughed, but he knew so much about my brother I finally had to believe him. I took a quick picture of him when he was looking away.

Then he asked me to go for coffee at a cool place in another neighborhood. I said to give me a minute because I had to call work. I went to a corner at the back and called my brother after sending him the photo. He said he never heard of the guy and told me to get away from him. Who knows what he wanted? I know the store owner and he let me out the back door and I took off. I didn’t want him to see my licence plate or anything. Now I don’t feel I can go back to that store.

— Overreactor, Winnipeg

Dear Overreactor: If you think there’s any danger, talk to the grocery store owner, who had the hustle taking place in his store, and have him get a look at the security tapes and your photo. Maybe your brother does know him from sports or something casual. Or maybe this guy hangs around supermarkets and tries to get certain women he’s researched to go somewhere with him.

Supermarket parking lots can be a hot spot for bad guys to hang around looking for women to rob or abduct as they go to their cars carrying packages. It’s odd this guy was inside the store. Maybe he’s legit and your brother just forgot about him. But if you have a bad feeling, you should pursue the incident with the store owner and the police. Even when you escape a con, you should always report it because it might add to a pattern police are assembling and help them find the perpetrator of other crimes.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I came home with my young son and found my wife, who had accidentally fallen asleep, still wearing my suit, tie and shoes. She was on the living room sofa with the TV still on. I woke her quickly before our son came in the house (he was in the yard on the swings) and I told her to get changed quick. “You’re the mother to our child, not the father.” Then I ran outside and took our boy for a surprise ice cream, just before dinner.

When we got home, her car was gone, my clothes were neatly hung back up and she had left a note saying she had gone to an emergency appointment with her therapist.” “What’s a ther-a-pist?” my son asked, when he saw the note on the table. I told him it was a kind of doctor and he asked if his mom was hurt. I said a little, but it was nothing serious.

I have a terrible case of WTF now. I am shocked, anxious, don’t know which way is up, don’t know where the marriage is going and how my wife’s going to continue being a regular mom and wife. I love her, but I don’t love the him in her. Please help me.

— Husband In Tears, Winnipeg

Dear Husband in Tears: You need to talk to your wife about how far she needs to go with this, and when. She may just like to cross-dress in men’s clothes when no one’s around (and will be more discreet after this), or she may want to transition from woman to man.

Kids who are young and at home when the transitioning happens, and are still around for the parent’s love and care, often have an easier time accepting the change than those who have already left home, are totally independent and may just push away in anger. Generally speaking, the older kids come back too, but it may take a few years. In the end, they often discover the transition is not worth losing a loving parent over and many notice how happy their parent is now they’re in the right body for them. 

So where does this leave you? You love the female side of your wife, but that is perhaps going to decrease. The fact remains you still have a child together. If you’re going to end the relationship, maybe you can work out a modern compromise where you live close by and can co-parent as friends while leading separate lives romantically.

You two adults need emotional first aid, specialized counselling and heart-to-heart talks. Plough any saved vacation money into relationship counselling and a psychologist this summer. Also, your wife may want to contact the Rainbow Resource Centre (visit rainbowresourcecentre.org or call 204-474-0212) who are aware of all the area resources serving the LGBTTQ community. 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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