Affectionate displays will get neighbours to butt out

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This article was published 25/08/2017 (3277 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve started seeing this guy at the lake whose cabin is two docks down from mine. The neighbours have been enjoying this budding romance and have started inviting us to parties as a couple this month and it feels like too much, too soon.

We’ve only been seeing each other romantically for six weeks. How do I tell the neighbour ladies to back off, as we don’t need their encouragement and overseeing? We need privacy and we’re not getting it. Help! — Biggest News on the Island, Lake of the Woods

Dear Biggest News on the Island: There’s only about a month of lake weather left. Take control by inviting the neighbours over to your dock, along with the new romance guy, for a late summer bash.

Then they will consider the romance made — a done deal — and they can knock off the matchmaking. If you’re excessively kissy-poo at the party and they’re older couples who aren’t anymore, they’ll back off faster.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am sick. I just came back from the hospital after seeing my sister following her suicide attempt. The doctors say her wrists will heal and the drugs are out of her system, but she will need help overcoming the damage done to her.

This beautiful, confident, successful woman fell in love with a dog. He was her dream come true at first and swept her off her feet. We thought he was great and were glad to see her with a man who loved her as he did.

What B.S.! We knew he had two failed marriages and three kids, but didn’t know what sick mind lived inside the exterior. I noticed my sister became a little less fun, didn’t laugh like she used to and didn’t do or say the things that used to make her happy.

I now know why. This warped dog was emotionally abusive, verbally abusive and possibly physically abusive, but what drove her to take her life was the constant yelling, screaming and being expected to have sex and enjoy it.

This had been going on for three years, as we saw the light go out of her eyes and the joy go out of her life.

He expected it to be her job to see to his sexual wants, regardless of what he did or said. His words and constant anger made her make a choice that thankfully she wasn’t successful at.

On what could have been her final night of life, he came home after yelling at her the day before, ignoring her that day, then grabbing her and taking her to their bedroom where he proceeded to look after his lust without a word to her about what she thought, or wanted.

Please tell any pig out there who thinks his sexual desires come before human consideration and thoughtfulness, to look in the mirror and see what a low-life he truly is. A woman has a right to say what will happen to her body and with whom.

Any coward who thinks he’s entitled to something that is not his needs to grow up. — Lucky to Have My Sister Back, Winnipeg

Dear Lucky to Have My Sister Back: She will be weak and vulnerable now for awhile. You can help keep her steady and on her way back up.

Can you organize family and friends? Can you all help her now with the structures of her life such as a court order, finances, housing, child care, getting to and from therapy appointments, blocking the ex’s phone calls and even living with your family for protection from this man? Sympathy is not enough.

Use your deep anger to fuel this kind of practical help when she gets out of the hospital and watch over her, even when she seems fine. She could be putting on a front for you.

If she’s moving, chip in and help pay for movers. Whatever happens, don’t let her be in the marriage house without a posse around her. Perhaps she needs an apartment with security guards who will have his photo and won’t be fooled.

The danger of her ex is his ability to morph himself into a charmer and get past people. 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6 

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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