Ultimate revenge: getting caught with her husband

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/01/2018 (3147 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am so good at holding a grudge! I waited more than 10 years to get even with my neighbour, who stole my boyfriend when I was in Grade 12. She took away the love of my life, then she later broke up with him and married somebody else.

About a year ago, she and her husband moved to her parents’ family home right next door to me. I was just waiting. We still had the same taste in men — tall and handsome.

Last summer, she was away for two weeks and her good-looking husband was all alone. I happened to be out in my bikini every day when he came home from work. About a week into her trip, we talked over the fence and the subject matter got very suggestive.

I invited him over for a drink, which was (oops!) very strong, and one thing led to another for several days and nights that week. We used the backyard where no one could see us going back and forth.

He was a hot lover, and it seemed like he was getting even, too! Toward the end of that week, I told him the story about how his wife stole my boyfriend and he laughed a funny laugh. I asked him if he knew the story, and he said he did. He said he knew she still cheats, so didn’t feel sorry for sleeping with me.

I hear she’s going away again for a few weeks with her girlfriends. Do you think I would be pushing my luck if I went over there one night to wish him a very happy new year?— Tempting Fate? Charleswood

Dear Tempting Fate: You really do want to get caught! Last summer wasn’t enough because you had the sexual fun but not the showdown with her. It’s all about this hated female, not about her husband.

Do you not realize that the young man she “stole” years ago was in on planning the cheating? He could have said no to her, but he didn’t.

Well, things do look better for you for getting caught this winter. The neighbours she knows might see you sneaking back and forth.

Also, you’ll create a tell-tale path in the snow between your two houses if you use the backyard. She’ll notice that when she gets back and looks out the windows.

So tell me, if you get caught, does that mean your luck just ran out, or just came in?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went to Mexico before Christmas on my own and fell for this guy I met there. He’s not Mexican, but lives there half of every year; that’s why I was surprised when he wrote recently asking me for a loan to get by while he waited for me to come back in February.

He said business wasn’t very good on the beach in January, where he sells stuff he makes. He’s an artist of sorts.

I feel kind of weird about it. He said he only needed $1,000, which he thought wouldn’t be much to me. Really! It’s more like $100 wouldn’t be too weird to ask from a person like me, who is a server and makes tips. I don’t have $1,000 to spare if I want to buy a ticket and have money to eat down there in February.

I wrote him and told him regretfully I couldn’t send any money. So then he phoned and tried to bargain with me. We had a fight and he called me a rich bitch.

I thought I was falling in love with him, but I feel a bit sick to my stomach now. What should I do about my trip? It isn’t actually booked yet.

—Upset Stomach and Headache, Winterpeg

Dear Upset Stomach and Headache: Book your trip elsewhere and go with a friend so you’re not lonely and desperate. This guy is trying to work you to get money, and you were right not to send it. If he’s working the beaches, it may be he’s not just selling jewelry.

Chalk this up to your lack of experience.

January can be a coolish month in Mexico and hustling women and/or selling jewelry can be difficult, but that is not your problem to solve for this guy. Be glad you didn’t send the $1,000, and don’t feel sorry for him. A new tourist will come along and he may have better luck fleecing her.

At least she’ll be taking him out for dinners and sharing her hotel accommodations most nights. That’s often the way it goes with beach guys and lonely women travellers, as you’re figuring out now.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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