Getting over heartache not as easy as a dye job

Opinion

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This article was published 01/02/2018 (2807 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My heart feels stomped and bleeding. It hurts so much! My boyfriend dumped me last weekend and I’m a mess. I took a week off and am back at work, operating like a robot.

I can’t even smile. Sometimes I have to run to the bathroom and cry it out. I went to see my doctor right away, but she wouldn’t give me pills. Friends and family should be able to help me, she said, but they can’t. I tried to talk to my ex and he won’t talk to me because he has a new girlfriend already.

I wonder how long ago they got together. He said he wished me well (puke) but his life has taken a new turn. What crap! We were perfectly happy and never had any fights, so what really happened? Did this girl seduce him?

Maybe. I looked her up on Facebook and she looks the exact opposite of me. I am tall and slim and she is a hobbit. I was so upset I went out and got my long hair cut off and dyed it red. I actually hate red hair on me, but now I look like a different person. I don’t feel much different inside though.

I asked around and people said she’s the love ’em and leave ’em type, so he’ll be free down the road. I hate him but I love him so much. How can I get him back?

— Ripped Apart, North End

Dear Ripped Apart: Old love ripped away and new hate are extremely strong passions, and very easy to confuse after a breakup. You need to let yourself breathe for a few weeks and not try to identify and name your varied emotions.

Start new behaviour by lightening up at work. Nobody there hurt you, and they don’t deserve a big rain cloud hanging over their workplace.

It will also help to get rid of the red hair you got in your initial fit of anger and pain. Change it to something you really like, not a wild colour to “show” people.

As for your ex choosing someone looking the opposite of you to mess with — maybe he was intrigued with the outside differences, or maybe she came on to him and he liked that feeling and the novelty of being chased.

In a few weeks or months she may dump him, if you’re not still competing to try to get him away from her. Do you think you’ll want him back after the two of them were able to do that to you?

You may take him back just to prove something to her, and find him more and more disgusting.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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