Offer to take woman home not that charming

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This article was published 11/02/2018 (3112 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 58, fit and good-looking, or so people tell me. I met a middle-aged woman at a party, really liked her and was attracted to her. I tried my best to interest her in coming home with me. I thought I was at my most charming. I tried everything — compliments, humour and fun conversation.

Finally, she said to me that she used to be married to a guy my age and there was nothing but trouble in the bedroom and she made an insulting finger gesture. She told me she now only dates guys who are younger and turned her attentions to a guy I know from hockey who’s in his early 40s. She looked to be pushing 50 to me! Why was she so rude to me? — Just Trying To Charm Her, St. Vital

Dear Just Trying to Charm Her: How could you be “charming” when you’re trying to pick up a grown woman you just met at a party and take her home?

She may have been telling the truth when she rebuffed you or she may have been looking for a way to insult you and shut you down fast. If you intend to be charming again at a party, ask the woman you’re interested in to go out to dinner with you at a nice place in the next week or as soon as she can fit it into her busy schedule.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boss is one of the cutest guys in the world and there used to be a lot of harmless flirtation going on in the office with him and the other guys. As a happily married woman, I used to feel free to joke with the guys and they flirted back. Just silly stuff.

With all the #MeToo stuff, our office is dead. The other day, I called one of the new guys “dear” in a funny-sarcastic way when he screwed up an order and he said, “Dear? I could complain to human resources about that. That’s a ‘me too,’ you know.” What is this world coming to? I would never seriously hit on anybody in the office.

I was just joking and he knew it. — Not Guilty, Downtown

Dear Not Guilty: Talk to your boss about this issue. Bringing it up again with this guy who warned you might give it more significance than it had.

Your boss will probably tell you things have to change in the office, particularly if you have been a big flirt for years. Some other person might take it more seriously and nobody needs the hassle of a complaint to HR. It looks like you’ll have to save your flirting for the home front.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just experienced something that shocked me. These two women at the bar were having a fight in the washroom. I thought of running for the bouncers, but the little one was getting the worst of it and I’m a big woman. I tried to step in between them and get them to stop. Then they stopped fighting each other and turned on me! They called me every filthy name in the book and pushed me all the way to the door and out of the bathroom.

So then, although I wanted to report the fight to the bouncers, it was over. I decided to tell them anyway and the biggest guy said that no good deed goes unpunished in a bar fight and suggest I leave. He walked me to my car so I was safe. In the end, I was the one who had to leave the bar because of trying to stop a fight. What do you think?

— Unfair Treatment, Downtown

Dear Unfair Treatment: It sounds like you’re drinking in a rough bar, madame. It’s the law of the jungle in a bathroom fight in the ladies’ room. You could have gotten a black eye, a fat lip or worse. It’s particularly dangerous when the bathroom doors are shut, and the bouncers can’t see the fight going on. It’s time for you to find a place to socialize that’s more upscale.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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