Bitter ex-wife deserves no place in your life

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 25/02/2018 (3138 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss LonelyheartS: I got a real nasty letter in the mail that started with, “I’ve waited 24 years to say this to you, and now I’m going to say it.” Then, this child bride of mine, from way-back-when, just let me have it! I don’t know why I read it all. For some stupid reason, I showed it to my wife of 16 years and she laughed and said, “Boy, have you changed! I wouldn’t have married you then, either.” Later, I asked her if she would help me write this woman back and add a note thanking my first wife for putting me back on the market!

My wife said, to my surprise, “Hell, no! YOU want to write her back? It’s your problem!” and then I could see she was mad. I don’t understand that woman. Why wouldn’t she want to crow about the great guy I turned out to be and that she got me?

— New & Improved, West Kildonan

Dear New & Improved: What you don’t know about women is a lot. The fact that you wanted to engage in any kind of interaction with this first wife lit the fire, and that you wanted your new wife to write a thank-you note and recommendation of the new you was like pouring oil on the fire! It appears you aren’t perfect yet. My advice is to apologize to your now-wife and tell her it was a kick in the ego that made you react in a stupid way. Rip up that nasty letter in front of your new wife and don’t give it another thought or another word.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m going to meet an online love I met from the North. We have been talking for more than a year and he feels like the best friend I ever had — but what if I get there and there’s no chemical attraction? We are staying at his friend’s two-bedroom home. I arrive in the afternoon. Please help.

— Time to Show My Cards, Winnipeg

Dear Time: Since this house has two bedrooms, tell your online boyfriend you’d like one of them to unpack and rest and have for your own private time. The first night, you’ll meet in the kitchen, cook together and have a candle-light dinner, talk and have a slow-dance party and see where it goes — as close to a romantic date as you can get there. That’s unless you take one look at each other and BOTH need to race from the plane to the house and get your clothes off as fast as you can. But, that’s not likely the way you’ll both feel — so having this little date plan ahead of time gives structure to the first hours and allows you to get used to each other.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a handsome but questionable guy on a trip to Mexico, and he was on holiday by himself, too. He never quite said what his job was, but he had a lot of cash. All he said when I asked him was that he was in the “import-export business” and I nearly laughed out loud. That’s what bad guys in movies and mystery books say when they’re actually dealing in drug shipments or something.

Anyway, I didn’t catch on until the fourth day, and by then, we had slept together and were having a wonderful time.

When we parted, he said, “I’d love to see more of you, but I can’t.” I said, “Why not?” and he said, “Because it wouldn’t be safe for you.” What did that mean?

— Missing My Mystery Man, River Heights

Dear Missing: That could be his goodbye line to every woman, or it could mean he has a wife who would come after you, or a gang that wants something from him, or other nefarious things. How about you chalk this up to a holiday romance and leave it at that? You don’t need to know anything more. If you did know his secrets, somebody might come to visit you and try to squeeze information out of you. Be blissfully ignorant and don’t look for any contact with him.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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