Ditch the itch and the girlfriend

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/06/2018 (3027 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got poison ivy in a bad place. I was cutting some tall grass around a stand of trees at my acreage wearing a pair of shorts. I was hopping off and on the mower because there are roots around the trees in the tall grass.

Unfortunately, I got poison ivy on my legs and hands. Then I had to answer the call of nature, and I got it you-know-where. I was an itchy mess.

My new girlfriend didn’t help by laughing at me and calling me “Itch.” I tried to laugh along with her. Then she told one of my best male friends, who thought it was a great joke, and he told our golfing buddies, who started saying “How are YOU doing?” and looking at my crotch. Ha ha ha. Very funny.

Now I’m recovering and I’m not looking forward to having sex with this girl again. I told her I didn’t feel inspired, and she said, “What’s your problem?”

I said, “You. It seems you have a mean streak and will kick a guy when he’s down.”

Then she called me “oversensitive” and a “big baby.” Help! I don’t know what to do.  — Don’t Call Me Itch, Winnipeg area

Dear Don’t: You must have it out with her, which could mean breaking up. The signs of lasting love — compassion, kindness and an instinct to protect you — just aren’t there. Nor is your desire to “become one” with her sexually. The trust is gone and you just don’t want to go there. Who can blame you? This relationship was in its beginning stages and appears to have fizzled. Time to move on.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a woman with three kids and a husband who works in another province and makes a lot of money. I don’t have to work away from the home, even though I had a career. We are well-off financially, but I really miss my man.

I’m a young woman with natural desires. I understood and accepted our situation until I found out recently he had a job offer in Manitoba for almost the same money and turned it down. This made me suspicious. I started doing some more investigating and found out he doesn’t always come home when he has time off.

I invited his best friend over for lunch on the pretense I was planning a surprise birthday party for my husband. I asked him a lot of rapid-fire questions about my husband’s life away, and he said something vague that twigged me to an affair. He said “I don’t know anything about it. It isn’t any of my affair.”

When my husband came home last week, I called him out and his face turned red and he didn’t want to talk anymore. He said he’d quit the job out west and would work in Manitoba if that would make me happy. He said he loved me and didn’t want to lose the boys. What should I do? —Mom of Three, Winnipeg

Dear Mom of Three: It appears he’s willing to give up his woman closer to work and move his sex life back to Manitoba.

You can look the other way and accept the new situation or you can go for counselling ASAP and get it all out in the open. You could also tell him to go stuff it and get a lawyer.

With three boys to raise you might want to try to fix this marriage. If you can’t, see a lawyer and start looking for a job right away. Support money is never as much as you think it will be.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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