Lose the freeloader and get your life back

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 02/01/2019 (2786 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear readers: The new year has arrived and you will likely read a slew of commentaries about how new year’s resolutions don’t work. Wrong! They stick, if you stay involved. One year I followed the old superstition that whatever you’re doing at midnight as the year changes, you’ll be doing more of the rest of the year. Some crazy couples rush home to make love when the fireworks start to blow off.

I came flying home from a party at 11:45 p.m one year, taped money all over my computer, and sat down to write. I left the money on the computer all year and doubled what I was making — by taking on more and better-paying work. It’s not magic. It’s resolutions backed by powerful determination. Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am 22. I’m ashamed I took my cheating, freeloading, loser of a boyfriend back at Christmas. I was so lonely, and he was staying at his parents, and I felt sorry for him.

I decorated my place and put up a tiny tree and bought him lots of little presents at the dollar store. He bought me a box of chocolates (which he didn’t wrap) and then ate most of them himself. I took him to my parents house for Christmas dinner. I overheard my mom describe him to my dad as “a skunk at a garden party.”

He asked me when I was going to do the wash and produced two big garbage bags of dirty clothes he had collected since we broke up. Like I was his mommy!

I wondered why he wasn’t going to work and he said he was on holidays. When he went out today, I phoned his work and they said he had quit three weeks ago. That would have been right after I asked him to move back in.

Now I’m stuck with him and paying all the rent for this two-bedroom apartment, washing his clothes and putting food on the table. But, I’m not lonely with him here, and loneliness really depresses me. I don’t love him anymore, that much I do know. What should I do?

— Lonely Girl, Wolseley

Dear Lonely Girl: Now you do exactly what he did, and go underground. Secretly find a roommate to move in, so you won’t be lonely. Then get rid of that cheating freeloader for good. He can move back in with his parents, the big baby.

You could really enjoy being single. I remember at your age moving into an old one-bedroom basement apartment on Hugo Street with two roommates. One got the bedroom, one got the living room sofa bed, and the third had a bed in the walk-in pantry.

We had a ball! It was all about having great company, eating lots of spaghetti and meatballs, and parties. We were poor, but we were having the time of our lives.

You deserve that. You’re young and shouldn’t be tied to a user, playing housekeeper for him. Don’t live with a guy unless he’s a winner and both of you are in love, and see a future together.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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