Sex toys don’t belong in the dishwasher

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This article was published 05/01/2019 (2493 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend bought me lingerie and sex toys for Christmas. I washed the toys on high in my dishwasher to make sure they were sterilized, and it didn’t go well for some of them. They cost a lot of money. Can I take them back to the store? My boyfriend says no, it’s my fault, not theirs.

— The Germaphobe, River Heights

Dear Germaphobe: There may be some sex toys that can go through a dishwasher, but not many. They’d take a beating. Usually, people gently handwash parts with special suds sold at sex shops. All you can do is carefully read the instructions and phone the shops where they came from. You were probably told they had to be handled a special way — not thrown in a dishwasher with harsh soap, steaming water, several rinses and hot-air drying. If you were warned, don’t even phone.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 18 and decided it was time for my 22-year-old alcoholic boyfriend to hit the road. His reaction? He said: “You wouldn’t be stupid enough to leave a man who loves you, would you, sweetie? Who else are you going to get?’’ I’m not that good looking.

I said, “Of course not,” but the truth is, I do want to get rid of that bum! He drinks way too much to keep a job, and he lives in my tiny apartment, rent-free.

He’s always on the couch watching movies and drinking beer and belching. When I get home from a long day of work, the last thing I want to do is have sex with him. I don’t feel enough love anymore. I can’t kick him out in a snowbank. Or can I?

— Not That Mean, West End

Dear Not That Mean: Tell this mean-mouthed boozing creep you’re finished with the relationship, and he needs to make plans. Does he have parents, grandparents or friends who would take him in? If you don’t feel comfortable sharing the bed, suggest he sleep on the couch, which will not be fun — unless he loves being there with the movies and beer.

Phone his most likable parent and make sure they know about the situation and his drinking. They might be concerned enough to take him in or help him out with some startup money until he gets a job. As for the drinking, get right on his case and tell him you won’t take it anymore. He might just move himself to a buddy’s place.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is about Furious With Heartless Husband, the woman whose second husband doesn’t want to deal with his non-blood grandchildren and is instead going on a golfing trip to Arizona the week the children are supposed to be visiting.

It seems many men have not evolved properly and have this huge need to be the centre of attention. You see it when males abuse spouses who are pregnant or have young children, and you also see it in stalkers after a breakup. Immature guys without empathy make this world challenging to live in.

Next time, she can trick him and have the grandchildren call him and say, “We can’t wait to see you!” It’s not just her partner who’s like this. There are wandering zombies draining life from families everywhere.

— She’s Not Alone in the Madness, Winnipeg

Dear Madness: That grandmother has two choices: she can visit the kids at their parents’ home, or if she’s trying to give the parents a rest, she can have them come to visit her for a packed week of fun activities so she doesn’t stew over her absentee husband.

Women don’t take kindly to having their grandchildren shunned. Grandpa is going to come home from Arizona to freezing temperatures in that house, particularly in the bedroom.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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