Talk it out before he’s gone for good

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This article was published 04/01/2019 (2493 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend and I had a fight out on the balcony over his smoking stinky cigars and cigarettes. I told him he was a jerk for smoking and endangering his life. He used to say he wanted to be the father of my children. But this Christmas holiday, he had the nerve to say his feelings were changing, since I had gone from being a sexy woman to a drone who wears old-lady panties and doesn’t take care of her looks. 

I said, “Right! Why don’t I just change myself for you then, and be your robot?” I went into the bedroom and pulled out the top panty drawer and came out on the balcony where he was smoking again and dumped my panties out over the railing.

My boyfriend said I was crazy, packed two suitcases and left for his brother’s house. He hasn’t been back. He’s got to come back some time to get the rest his stuff.

Help! 

— Wanting Him Back, Downtown

Dear Wanting Him: Pick up the phone and ask for a talk. Maybe your relationship is done, but he still needs to get his stuff, and you need to get someone to pay the other half of the rent or move to a smaller place. Keeping silent is not helping. Maybe you can get over the balcony drama and work things out with a good talk. Who knows, one day you both might look back at this and laugh. 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My heart is breaking after my sad and lonely dog went away and left me. He walked down the road to a farm and took up residence there. The neighbours phoned to say they had him and they tried to send him home, but he just wouldn’t go.

I guess that’s because they have other animals and he was the only one we had. He used to jump the fence and go over there a lot in the daytime. I guess they fed him along with the other animals and won him over.

I admit my young husband and I both work in the city, so he was alone all day. We also went out a fair bit at night. It’s just that it hurts to be rejected by your dog. We really loved him and thought he was cute, but I guess that’s not enough when you don’t put in the time. What should I do?

— Bad Mother, Outside the City

Dear Missing Him: Personally, I think you should leave him there, with your blessing, along with the leftover dog food bag and his doggie toys. Maybe you could visit him on occasion — or would that make him afraid he might be put on a leash and returned to his lonely situation? I don’t know what dog experts would say and welcome them to send their advice to the address below.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I foolishly and drunkenly went to bed with a fellow employee after the Christmas party and we spent every second day together over the holidays.

Now we’re back at work and it’s an awkward situation. I’m not in love with him, though I find him fun and good in bed, and he’s crazy about me. But I’m just not feeling it and want him to back off. How do I tell him it’s over when our work life together is not over — and worse still, the boss would fire me before him?

— Rock and a Hard Place, St. Boniface

Dear Rock: You are going to have do the kindest “fade” you can with this man. You can start by offering friendship rather than your cold back at work, and let it cool down from there. Talk to him more rather than less at first, but with lots of boring, small talk and awkward pauses. Then space out the time between conversations. He may start to find you a bore at work, far from your behaviour in bed.

If the fade doesn’t go well, you might want to look for a new position with the same or better pay at another workplace.

For now, just wait awhile. This fling may simmer down for him and become a thing of the past. Pray for that ending.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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