Don’t complicate lipstick-curious kid’s life

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This article was published 13/03/2020 (2335 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was doing the laundry and went to use my downstairs bathroom recently. The door was was closed, but unlocked, so I went right in — and caught my son’s 12-year-old buddy trying on my lipstick! It was as awkward as it gets.

The kid screamed and was rapidly trying to throw the lipstick in the drawer and wipe his mouth with toilet tissue. I yelled too, because it was a huge shock. I said, “What are you doing!?” then shut the door. I went upstairs, stunned. Then the kid came barrelling up the stairs past me and straight out the door.

My son wanted to know why I yelled at him, but I didn’t tell him what really happened. Now this kid won’t talk to my son anymore, but what the heck was he thinking? I guess I’m torn on whether I should tell my son what really happened. The boys are both 12. What would you do?

—Shocked Mom, Winnipeg

Dear Shocked: Your boy seems to have lost a friend for some reason unknown to him. You might just tell your son you opened the door when his friend was using the toilet. No need to tell him about the boy’s secret experiment with your lipstick. That boy’s life is complicated enough.

In fact, he might be so embarrassed he doesn’t talk to your kid again. If he figures out your son doesn’t know anything and hears what you said to explain the yelling, they may be able to be friends again.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My brother just moved in with me and my wife after our mother kicked him out of her house. It’s been hard with that bum living here, to say the least.

He’s in his mid-20s, and my wife and I are in our early 30s.

She and I used to love being together in our little house — dancing in the living room in the dark, playing in our bedroom in the mornings, wearing little or no clothing around the house. Now, we barely have sex anymore because he’s always home. Plus, he drinks beer constantly. He is rude, always using the F-word, and his hygiene is terrible. He stinks!

He’s a “streamer” — a guy who plays video games really well and people donate money to watch him play online to pick up tips. He says it’s his “job” (or will be one day) and that some streaming stars make big bucks. He makes little money at it now — maybe $300-400 a month — and has only been doing it six months. As if watching that full-grown slob is entertaining enough for people to donate money to him!

I want this bloodsucker out now, but he has no job and he’s otherwise on assistance. How do you get rid of a family member who isn’t even working?

—Want to Throw the Bum Out, River Heights

Dear Throw: Talk to your mom, and get her suggestion. After all, she got him out… and over to your place! What did she say when she booted him out? I’m betting it might have been: “Go talk to your big brother!” and he found his way to a soft-hearted sibling to take him in. He’s good at bumming, so he will probably have a list in his head of other likely friends for couch-surfing or maybe even a basement room.

Tell him he’s out at the end of the month, even if he has to go back and beg your mom. You and your wife need your private lives back. Will he be hurt or annoyed? No, he’s a leech, and he’ll just be ticked off as he’s rapidly going through people in his head to use next.

He may have to get a real job. He’s in his 20s and could probably get a job at a fast food drive-thru if he’s desperate, or pay a friend a few bucks to bunk there. It might be a good thing for him to pay for a place to live.

Send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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