It’s possible to emerge from sinkhole

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 17/03/2020 (2370 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I read with interest your response to the South Winnipeg couple calling themselves “In a Sinkhole.” I suggest they go see someone at the non-profit Credit Counselling Society. It costs nothing to talk to them. I was having difficulty managing a heavy debt load six years ago. I went, and 41/2 years later I was debt-free and so much wiser about money.

I was able to retire earlier than expected because I was determined to fix my problem and sought help. They can come up with a plan to deal with the debt. They also have an education component.

Your advice to go see an accountant is all well and good, but accountants are not debt counsellors. The CCS counsellor can provide alternatives and even intervene with creditors to arrange for either forgiveness of a debt or repayment at a lesser monthly amount, without interest. They can even explore bankruptcy, if appropriate. Their website is nomoredebts.org.

— A Debt-Free Winnipegger

Dear Debt Free: Thanks for writing in with your advice for In a Sinkhole. The Credit Counselling Society is an accredited non-profit charity that helps Canadians with their money. As a relationship counsellor, I was also worried about their love relationship, which has come under so much strain. If relatives ask what small thing they can do to help as the couple works to get out from under this terrible pressure, a great gift would be some personal relationship counselling sessions so they don’t lose each other as they struggle to get out of this stormy sea. Constant money problems can drown a couple’s love.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for In a Sinkhole, the young people who got themselves into so much debt. I’m not a financial advisor, but if the couple has good employment and a good house to live in, they should be able to go to the bank and get a home-equity line of credit approved. Then they can consolidate credit-card debts to one place and pay much less interest (maybe about 4.5 per cent as opposed to about 20 per cent).

I don’t understand how these young people don’t have financial literacy or monetary restraints anymore. If you do not have money for a non-essential thing, do not buy it until you are out of your debts, and have the capability. For example, forget the holidays and new furniture until the finances improve, slashing all non-essential spending. There is a saying in my language: You should cut the blouse according to how much cloth you have.

— Not a Financial Advisor, Winnipeg

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Lots of people end up like this and find a way out the other side! The Credit Counselling Society of Winnipeg is a not-for-profit organization that can help you take a good look at your debt and plan a solution, for free. Another good start is to use an app like Mint, Every Dollar or You Need A Budget to start budgeting. Some of these also have really good free resources to help sort out your finances.

Hopefully In a Sinkhole will find facing the debt and making some changes to turn things around takes stress off the relationship.

Good luck to them!

— A Budgeting Nerd, Manitoba

Dear Budgeting Nerd: There’s nothing nerdy about budgeting. It creates the security and the ability to breathe freely, and that enables a love relationship and a family to grow. If you’re open about it, it also teaches kids how to be good at budgeting their own money, and to enjoy a lifestyle they can afford. Instead of giving kids a flat “no” when they ask for something unaffordable, a parent can say, “First we’ll pay for the rent or mortgage, heat, water, lights, food, gas and clothes, and then we’ll see. Want to look at my budget book?”

Lots of kids have no idea about those very basic expenses until they live on their own — and these days that often doesn’t happen until their late 20s.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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