Don’t expect success with troubled ex-boyfriend

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/05/2020 (2009 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My ex-boyfriend reached out over Facebook, and clearly wants to get back together. He isn’t being obvious, but he’s being overly nice and seems to really have his life together. The problem used to be drinking and being high all the time, and his not keeping a job because of it. Our sex life was always great, I must admit.

I’m with someone right now and we’re happy, but I started having dreams about my ex again. These aren’t light dreams either; we are really going at it. I feel guilty, because I love my current partner but have so much history with my ex. What do you think?

— Cheating in My Dreams, St. James

 

Dear Cheating: What is wrong with your sex life with your new man that makes it less exciting? Do you miss the emotional life of fights and makeup sex with the bad boy? Remember the rest of that old experience — the misery, not knowing if your former love would be coming home drunk or high (if he’d come home at all), or if he’d lost another job.

Look, it’s easy to tell someone online you’ve cleaned up your substance abuse act (true or not) and promise yourself you’ll actually do it the minute you get an invitation to come back.

So why not try to ramp things up sexually with your current love? Maybe you could talk over some dramatic scenes that end in great sex with your new guy.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It is with pleasure I share this with you and your readers — my great experience with my lost-and-found wallet.

My husband and I went to Home Depot on Regent to purchase a new exterior/storm door combo and during the walk to our truck my wallet fell out of my shoulder purse. I was not aware of the loss until we left the parking lot and went to a drive-thru to purchase coffee.

Pure panic set in as all my credit cards, ID and $400 cash was in that wallet. We immediately returned to the parking lot and searched. I went into the store, but nobody had turned it in.

I was mentally thinking of all the things I’d need to cancel/replace! On our drive home my phone rang — it was a Costco employee asking if I’d lost anything. I was shocked, as I had not been to Costco that day.

It turns out a person had found my wallet and attempted to locate me in the store using my photo ID. He had no luck, so he went further and contacted my bank (using my bank card information), but they wouldn’t help him due to privacy concerns. He saw my Costco card and called them, and that’s how Costco contacted me and gave me the man’s number who found my wallet.

I called, and a young gentleman answered, telling of how he found the wallet. I was so happy! He gave me directions to his house and we went directly there.

A young man appeared with his young son and gave me my wallet. I looked inside and all the cash was still in it. I was so happy I started to cry, as this lovely young man also cried. I opened the wallet, grabbed cash — $100 — and gave it to him. I told him his mother raised a great man, and what a lesson he had given his son! I’m not sure how many people would go above and beyond like that.

— So Grateful, Oakbank

 

Dear So Grateful: The cash in a lost wallet means a lot to a person, but getting all the cards and ID back is equally important. Not everybody can afford to give a reward, but you could, and you certainly did! It was also sweet that you got to reward young dad in front of his son. You can bet the young boy won’t forget that experience — a great lesson about honesty and integrity — and what a hero his dad is.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is starting to really annoy me — even more than normal. I know most couples find little things about each other that bug them, but it’s to the point when I look at her face, first thing I think is, “What now? What will you have a problem with today?” She is a negative person who considers herself “progressive,” so she takes up every fight that exists online that day, and then gets into arguments with me, oftentimes twisting the words I say, to make it sound like I disagree or am a bad person.

It’s to the point now where I think it might be time to call it off, despite the casual talk about possible kids down the line. I don’t think she is stupid, but boy is she petty! I can’t stand her half the time.

—Should I Cut and Run?, St. Boniface

 

Dear Cut: Listen to the little voice inside you that insists this relationship is being eroded by an ingrained character flaw she isn’t about to change. You mistakenly married a negative, petty woman, who is always looking for an argument, and you’re her closest target.

This would be hard on kids — never-ending criticism and arguments to prove them wrong. They’d be additional targets and that kind of behaviour takes a huge toll on a young person’s self-esteem. It’s time for counselling, and if you find nothing is going to change, you should break this off. Do it now, before having babies. Don’t give her everything out of guilt. She’s adept at arguing, and you’ll need to contact a good divorce lawyer. Know your rights before you tell her you’re finished with this marriage.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.