Take solace from fact you were there for her

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/08/2020 (2186 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a newly-separated lady in January and we started dating heavily. We had a very romantic Valentine’s evening, let me tell you. We were lucky the bedroom didn’t catch on fire! We have been together at her beautiful apartment almost every night since.

But all is not well in the last month. Her jealous, wealthy “husband” has come roaring back into the picture, promising “a new house and a new start” and a baby to bring them closer together.

Ha! What a joke. He still doesn’t want her to be working, especially at the high level job she is so proud of.

That’s how their relationship ended. He insisted she quit, and she wouldn’t. He started going away on weekend business trips — the only time of the week she could cater to him day and night. And, get this: he’d never tell her where he was staying, so she could only call him on his cellphone.

Before long, she caught him cheating on a business trip. A young bimbo answered his phone while he was in the shower. My lady left the marriage, just like that. Then she met me. That was many months ago.

He’s recently started sending her lots of flowers and gifts and making big and small promises, which she relates to me as if she’s not interested and considers a joke.

But I can feel her becoming increasingly distant and quiet with me, and she hears from him daily now. I feel anxious and depressed. Should I fight harder or give up? — Fool For Her Love, Fort Garry 

Dear Fool: Bad news! It’s possible this big spender can win your lady back.

Look at her personality: She was attracted to all the glitz, glamour, parties and travel when she met that wealthy man, and she married him and got into his circle quickly.

In recent months she’s been working at home a lot, and seeing just you. Right now, everyone is bored and nobody can travel much.

She’s had a lot of sweet, loving behaviour from you, a truly nice guy. But her ex is offering her another whirl at a glamorous life with excitement, plus a baby.

If his flashy promises are getting through to the part of her that is still attracted to status and glamour, think hard. That’s not you.

When you have to try so hard to compete with another guy who’s already proved himself to be a jerk to the lady you’re courting, you are not the permanent replacement.

But you were sweet when she was down, and you did bring him to his knees before her, even if she didn’t purposely use you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have learned what hatred means, and it’s eating at my guts. I did a big job for a man who promised me a large amount of money, and then, when the work was done, he reneged on it.

I did a professional job — more than he asked for. He handed me a cheque for one-quarter of what he’d offered me to do it, and said, “Take it or leave it.”

It’s not that his business has gone broke. He’s doing very well these days. But, he knew I needed the money — had needed it badly for more than two months.

He said he’d pay me at the end of the job. I know I do far superior work to anyone who has ever worked with him, so I agreed.

He handed me the cheque, and gave me a lizard look with half-closed eyes. He knew he had me. I had to take the cheque and run it to the bank, and pay outstanding bills.

Now I want revenge, and can’t sleep at nights. I want the other 75 per cent of the money he owes me, but I can’t afford a lawyer to sue him and there was no paper work on the estimate. It was done on a handshake — on trust. Please help. — Twisting in the Wind, Manitoba

Dear Twisting: “What goes around, comes around” is the old saying. It’s amazing how often someone who is dishonest and wicked in business dealings with people gets their comeuppance down the road.

It may not be the very next person they cheat, but it’s coming faster with everyone this guy messes with.

Let someone else devastate him one way or another, but don’t you go to jail for getting even with this creep.

And I’m sure you’ll be certain in the future to always get a deal/agreement in writing, with signed copies for both of you and two witnesses.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography