Family feud is veering into serious territory

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This article was published 08/12/2020 (2081 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts:  My mom was the glue in our messed-up family. Every holiday, like birthdays and Christmas, was spent at her home. Now that mom has passed, the brothers think I’m next in line to take over.

I feel relieved that there is a pandemic and I will not have to witness another verbal slugfest, like last year! My brother’s wife left him, so he and his ungrateful spawn lived with mom after, and made her life a living hell. He and the kids, who followed his example, were emotionality abusive to her.

I walked away from my entire family in the past and was finally content. But, when mom became sick, I came back to be at her side. I thought that after eight years my brother would have grown up. No way!

He and his nasty kids are into drugs, booze and gambling and leaned on mom to pay many of their debts.

After the funeral I made it known we’d be parting ways, for good, as a family. My brother said, “You think you’re better than me? Well, I’m going to make your life hell.”

Now he’s telling anyone with an ear horrible lies about me. These people are dangerous. I’m even thinking that, when things are settled with mom’s estate, I’ll relocate.

But, in the meantime, I’m walking on eggshells. Any help or advice? — Oldest Sister, Winnipeg

Dear Oldest Sis: You need more people on your defence team, and right now you need a good lawyer. Your brother has uttered threats and slandered you, and he needs to know from your lawyer the consequences for doing so.

Also, his friends are thugs, so if you live in the old neighbourhood or anywhere near it, consider relocating soon to get away from the whole group.

Be sure to block your brother from phone, Facebook and email contact. As well, just in case he tries to drop in, you don’t have to open the door to him.

Be sure to change your locks ASAP in case there’s a spare key floating around the family. If he threatens or starts to cause any kind of hassle, call the police.

Yes, he’s family. But this is the kind of dangerous situation you don’t hide, because of pride, from those who can help and protect you.

The more light you shine on a thug and his shenanigans, the less he’ll want to come around, because it’s not just “little ol’ you” anymore. You have help, from powerful officials.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 37 with three kids. Younger men don’t want to take on a family like this, and I’m very happy with my older man who has a youthful spirit and is successful.

My ex-husband (we are formally divorced now) is extremely jealous and calls my new guy “Mommy’s old man” to our boys. They told me about this and more bad stuff last night.

My oldest boy told me it makes my youngest cry when their father continually puts me down, calling me bad things like “bitch” and worse.

They don’t want to go with Daddy for visitation anymore. Should I make them? — Wanting To Keep Kids Home, Winnipeg 

Dear Wanting: Before you keep them home, call up your lawyer for advice on how to proceed. Visiting rights do not include the right to emotionally abuse the child (as in calling their mother dirty names, and causing tears).

You may need to revisit this part of the divorce settlement between you and your ex-husband. He might need supervised visitation, if he’s allowed to continue seeing them.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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