Best not to dwell on diamond fake-out

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This article was published 16/12/2021 (1718 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’d always admired my mother-in-law’s beautiful diamond ring — a ring she bought herself for her 50th birthday. She referred to it as a “quality diamond.” I really hoped one day she’d leave it to me in her will. Well, that day came. She died and gifted me with her ring. Proudly, I wore that beautiful diamond in her honour, every day after her death for three months. Then, my husband suggested I should have it appraised, and added to our home insurance.

I did get it appraised, and it’s a fake — a zirconia! I felt so hurt, like my mother-in-law was laughing from the clouds. When I let my husband know the ring was worthless, he laughed so hard, and said, “She got the last laugh. Gotta love her!”

I can’t believe he said this to me, or that my mother-In-law disliked me so much. I knew I wasn’t her first choice for her son’s wife. She preferred his ex-girlfriend, and she let me know I was second-rate, in many different ways. I still treated her, and her son, like gold.

The feelings of hurt are beyond painful — I feel humiliated. I can’t confront her now she’s gone to heaven (or the other place). What can I do to ease the pain?

— Second Best Wife, Linden Woods

Dear Second Best: “Gotta love her!” was a recognition of his mother’s successful scam, but that doesn’t mean her son was proud of her for humiliating you. He did fail to honour your hurt and embarrassed feelings — perhaps out of awkwardness.

One has to wonder why you ever wanted to wear your mother-in-law’s ring on your finger in the first place. She must have known you didn’t like her — even if you were treating her like gold. Clearly you loved the ring for its beauty and supposed worth. It was not symbolic of an emotional bond between the two of you.

It’s your ring. You have every right to dispose of this gift as you wish. It shouldn’t be kept in your house, as it’s a reminder of the trick pulled on you, and you don’t need that.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Christmas gives me a headache, and I can feel it coming on! We always host it, as our house is biggest. The rowdy nephews and nieces will be running around the house screaming, because they’re over-excited by their Christmas mornings, and they desperately need naps they’re not going to get! By the end of Christmas evening, two or three of them have had a fight or a crying jag.

I know it’s just five kids, besides my own little boy, but I need to find a way to get through it without secretly cracking a bottle of whiskey, and sipping it in the pantry until I’m blasted.

— Cranky Auntie, Weston

Dear Cranky: Console yourself with the idea that this will be your last hurrah for a few years. Announce at the end of Christmas dinner that you’re passing the torch to the other mamas and papas, so you can all take turns as hosts. Some of them might be a bit jealous you always get the party at your house, just because it’s logical to use the biggest house. They’ll be more than fine with having the next few Christmases at their places.

Be gracious, and lie through your teeth. Tell the gang you’ve enjoyed hosting the last few Christmases — but now you’re going to be just as happy to be a helper and bring food over.

As for the kids roaring around and fighting at this year’s upcoming party, the internet is full of party games for kids, so look them up ahead of time and be prepared. Games are a much better use for excess energy than trying to get kids to watch a movie when they’re excited to interact with their cousins.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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