Gift of blab unwelcome at dinner table

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/12/2021 (1701 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my family, except for my wife’s older brother. He’s a conversation hog who acts like he’s at the boardroom table at work where he’s boss.

At family dinners, he introduces topics of interest to himself and then solicits opinions from each member of the family.

If they talk too long, he interrupts and says, “We’ll get back to you in a moment, but now I’d like to hear from so-and so.” That person may have a mouthful of food, or have no opinion at all on the topic. It puts my teenagers on the spot.

He’s a big drinker, too. He tries to be witty and charming, but he annoys the heck out of me as he drinks my expensive scotch and gets louder and louder.

My wife suggests I ask her cousin, before we sit down at the dinner, not to formalize the dinner conversation, and just let the family chat. I know he’ll be offended and slam out the door.

Frankly, I just want to shove a sock in his mouth. Help!

— Fed Up to the Teeth, south Winnipeg

Dear Fed Up: If he tries to start a big conversation, with himself as moderator, interrupt with, “I’d prefer a relaxing dinner, where we are not involved in a debate of any kind.” Then turn to him and say, “How are you, and what’s new in your life?” Start by modelling what you want for conversation with the people around you.

Oh, he’ll know he’s being usurped, but you have to take a strong stand with people like him. He won’t appreciate what you’re doing, but others in the family sure will.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Never mind my two front teeth, all I want for Christmas is my sex life back!

My mother-in-law moved in while her house is being renovated and has the spare bedroom right next to us. We share a headboard wall with her, and I’m inhibited to say the least.

The problem started after she first moved in and we weren’t aware that our headboard slammed the wall when we’re at it.

My mother-in-law is not a shy woman. She nailed us the next day at Sunday brunch with: “Didn’t get much sleep last night… too much noise next door. Ha!” and looked sharply at us.

We haven’t had anything but furtive sex since. I told my husband: “Your mother needs to go home!” and he told Mama what I said.

This morning she packed up and roared out of the yard. It’s no secret I’m pleased, but she told my son she’s “hurt and embarrassed” by what I said. Now what? Help!

—Trouble in Paradise, Winnipeg

Dear Trouble: Send your mom-in-law flowers and wish her well in her renovated home. Sign it off “With love” and both your names.

Don’t give any impression you’re sorry and inviting her back, but be cheerful and happy for her — in her own place.

Now you and your husband can be happy you have your uninhibited sex life back in your own home. Just be friendly with Mom, and carry on!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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