Don’t begrudge parents their belated nuptials

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/12/2021 (1750 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My parents never bothered to get legally married. They have finally decided to do so, and think we should have a party to celebrate! Right. We grown-up kids should celebrate that they are finally doing what they should have done decades before?

It really hurt me when I was young to know my parents were “just living together” or as some people say, “shacking up.” They’d blow me off when I asked them why they didn’t have a wedding like other kids’ parents. Should I go to their wedding and try to celebrate it? I think it’s…

— Too Little, Too Late, St. Vital

Dear Too Little: How will you feel the day of the wedding when you’re not there — especially if you could see and hear your parents’ vows and what they mean to each other? They will probably mention you and your siblings, and how much you have enriched their lives as a couple.

Look, you’re finally getting what you want! Don’t step on your own foot. Enjoy the move they are finally making. It’s not too late to make vows of love and commitment in front of people to acknowledge what they have felt for each other for all these years.

No, they didn’t marry officially in the conventional time frame; and yes, that embarrassed you. But they have lasted a long time as a couple, and were there for you kids as a solid unit, while many modern couples married and split up. You can say for sure that your parents are solidly into their love relationship, for good and forever.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went to a very small Christmas party with some women friends I do crafts with. One of them had the nerve to bring as a guest the woman who took my husband years ago. She left him soon after she started living with him. My heart was too broken to take him back.

I’d had a few drinks, and gave her a snide shot or two. Then she pulled me into the bathroom and leaned on the door, so I couldn’t get out. She said she was deeply sorry for what happened years ago, and confessed she broke it off with him because he was still obviously in love with me.

She actually said she’s heard he’s single again these days, and I should call him. Deep down under the hurt and anger, I must admit I still love that man. I am so lonely lately. Should I call him?

—Tempted, Westwood

Dear Tempted: You only live once, so why not? Call your ex to say Merry Christmas and have a chat about your lives. Maybe you can at least be friends now — and maybe more.

Just don’t ignore the obvious — the breakup. It’d be enlightening when you get together the first time to discuss why he drifted away in the first place when he was still in love with you. Also, you should discuss why you still care for him now. Please write back and let me know how this goes. Good luck!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Please let people know they can download the Manitoba Immunization Verifier app (for COVID immunization codes) to their phones. Then, there can be no question as to whether the card a person is showing you is actually valid.

It gives the person’s name and a check mark if they are fully vaccinated — no other detail, so privacy is maintained.

— Just Helping, Manitoba

Dear Helping: Thanks for writing about this. It’s a handy tool, now that more people are out socializing and wanting to be closer — and some are completely new to you. The cards only show the person’s first and last names and a QR code. When scanned, the QR code will that the person is fully vaccinated. It can be awkward to do this, but everyone is better safe than sorry, and most people realize this.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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