Lying husband has shown you his true self

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 01/02/2022 (1643 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: On the weekend I came into my condo quietly and heard my young husband talking on his cell in our bedroom. He uses a certain voice and low laugh when he thinks he’s being sexy.

He was telling some babe he had the choice last year to work from home or work from the office, but he chose the office. He said: “Frankly I get sick of her, and I have no freedom at home.” By “her,” he meant me! He never told me he had the choice to work at home!

I went in and grabbed his phone and said, “This is his wife speaking. What the (blank) do you want?” She shrieked, and hung up. A blow-up ensued and in the end, I threw him out of my condo.

He claims she’s “just a friend,” but I’d had a feeling from other disgusting clues that he was already cheating. What should I do?

— Married to a Liar and Cheater, Osborne Village

Dear Married: Some marriages you fight for, and some aren’t worth it. You already can’t trust your young husband to stay away from other women. Nor does he tell the truth about important things, like his work situation. What all is he lying about?

It’s time to let this joker go on his merry way, while you still have time to find a loving, grown-up partner who has the guts to live by the truth. Then you’ll feel supported and loved.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend told me she and her husband are role-playing now to spice up their sex life. She said it’s really worked for them, and taken the boredom out of being home so much during COVID.

I thought this would be fun and brought it up to my husband of four years. He looked disgusted and said, “You’re my wife, not a call girl!” Then he laughed and added, “Anyway, you’d starve in that business.”

What? He never has any new moves himself. Each time I’ve mentioned something new, he’s shot it down, saying “too much work.”

I suspect he knows I find him dull in the bedroom, compared to my former lover. And now he’s insulted me to the core. I don’t feel like being intimate with his hurtful words playing in my mind. I guess I’ve kind of given up. Is there any way to get my feelings healed?

Hopefully some partners will read this and learn that words can wound deeply — and it takes two enthusiastic people to keep things exciting.

— Turned Off Him Now, Tuxedo

Dear Turned Off: Interacting with someone sexually who’s been nasty and insulting is just not going to happen unless you can fix things with some help. Many local counsellors are available online due to COVID, and some also in-office.

When the issues of the original fight are resolved and healed, it’ll be time to talk about restoring intimacy and building a new sex life with more variety, fun and romance.

Great sex, incorporating fantasies, is like dancing. It takes emotion and creative thought, translated into sensual moves and even some drama. Realistically speaking, your man is not likely going to be a big fantasy man, but you may be able to negotiate a few new sexual experiences with him.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography