Let things cool off before pursuing new romance

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This article was published 24/03/2022 (1598 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve just broken up with my nasty boyfriend. He wasn’t happy, and he’s suspicious now. Actually, I also left in order to start going out with another guy I’ve always wanted to be with, who’s finally free. He wants me, too. If I don’t take advantage of this opportunity, someone else might get him.

It’s really hard to hide things in my small town. How soon can I start going out with my new guy, so it doesn’t look like I was cheating? I wasn’t, not even once, but my ex is never going to believe that! He’s the jealous type and can get really nasty with his fists.

— Need to Escape Him, rural Manitoba

Dear Need to Escape: Three or four weeks isn’t going to be enough time, since your ex is the jealous type, and it’s a small town. Is the new guy comfortable enough to keep your ex at a respectful distance, if you start dating sooner? If not, you’d best confine the new relationship to the phone for six to eight weeks, giving your nasty ex a chance to start dating someone else.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into a pretty woman’s shopping cart in the line-up at the grocery store. She turned around to tell me to “watch it” — and it was my big teacher crush from high school. “Some things never change,” I said to her. “I was always in your way at school.”

She said, “No, you weren’t! You were one of my favourite students.” I blushed beet red! I always had a crush on her. I stood there, looking and feeling goofy, and then spotted her bare ring finger. She used to wear wedding rings eight years ago. Then she said “goodbye” and walked away.

Now, I have the strongest urges to call her. She has a unique last name, and I know I could find her somehow. What do you think?

— Her Favourite Student, Winnipeg

Dear Favourite: It’s a hard line to cross, and one or both of you is likely to feel odd — remember, you were teacher and student. Could you just enjoy the fact that she actually thought you were a nice guy when you were in school, and that you were a favourite?

It might be a coup for you to hook up, but awkward and embarrassing for the former teacher. Dating students crosses a big line, and most teachers stay far away. Even long after the student has graduated, people would wonder when exactly that romance started.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m so lonely since my mother died. She was my best friend after Dad died. I am in my 50s, never married. I always lived at home — their only child. I took good care of Mom. She died of a heart problem, and left me the house and enough money to live.

I have one friend who lives nearby. We used to play baseball together. I just don’t know many other people, because looking after Mom took a lot of time. I have a part-time job, too. I still have many lonely dinners and nights with nothing but the TV. Please help.

— Lonely Guy, South Osborne

Dear Lonely Guy: People are excited to be getting out of the house, as COVID eases up. They’re returning to a lot of fun activities. So, call up an old buddy and take in a show or a sports game together now that things are opening up again.

You and a buddy could also check out garage sales on Saturday mornings, going strong by 9 a.m. all over the city as the weather warms up.

Another great option is volunteering, especially for a group or organization you’re passionate about as you may meet like-minded people to connect with. Visit volunteermanitoba.ca to find out about opportunities.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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