Subtly spur houseguests to doff grubby galoshes

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/04/2022 (1622 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a bit of a clean freak. I don’t like it when people wear shoes in my house, especially in this dirty, sloppy spring weather.

I have certain guests who do this over and over again, despite the fact I have several mats at the front door with my footwear parked on them! I’ve had to asked certain guests to please remove their shoes.

I understand in some cultures it’s acceptable to wear footwear indoors. But, in Manitoba, especially rural areas like where I live, some seasons are filthy.

How can I make it clear to people I don’t want shoes worn in my house? I’d appreciate any advice.

— Mrs. Clean, eastern Manitoba

Dear Mrs. Clean: A smiley-face sign on the door, thanking people for removing footwear, will get the job done without being offensive. Some people with wet or stinky socks will appreciate clean rolled socks in a basket, with a note inviting people to help themselves.

You don’t need actual discussion around house rules. Talk about fun things instead of being cranky at the door.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My children moved out recently and my life feels so empty. They moved to other cities and one to another country! They left at the same time.

My husband has been great and very supportive, but I just feel so empty. My life was my job and my children and now it is just my house, husband and part-time work. What can I do to feel fulfilled and energetic again?

— Running on Empty, The Maples

Dear Running on Empty: Time for a refill — of young people in your life. One of the happiest women I know in a post-career job is working part-time in a school. She loves the kids and their activities.

As COVID regulations are dropped, there are also more after-school programs and community clubs needing help. Identify which age group interests you most and where that cohort spends their time. If you’re uncertain, experiment with a couple of part-time jobs and activities to find a good fit for you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a man in my late 20s working in a female-dominated industry. It’s surprising how often I get “personal” comments at work.

I’m not trying to write off the sins of men in the workplace, but I can’t even tell you anymore how often I get comments or questions about my clothes, height, appearance, relationship status and some even talk about my “bubble butt.” It can be a lot.

I do lift weights and am pretty muscular, but I don’t dress to flaunt it.

I’m also in a relationship with a woman I love, and don’t appreciate this attention. What’s a good way to address it with co-workers, without them turning on me.

— Not a Piece of Meat, Winnipeg

Dear Not a Piece: Said in the right tone (level-voiced, conversational) this will work: “You don’t hear me commenting on your bodies or relationship status. That would be unprofessional.” If they keep bothering you, add this: “If you want to discuss this later, I’m fine with it. But, right now there’s lots of work to do.” That gives your co-workers time to think, and tells everybody work is your focus and should be theirs.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography