Help daughter to embrace financial stability

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/05/2022 (1556 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a loving dad with “out-dated views,” my wife says. Our only child — in her 20s now — has a good education and solid job, but she’s always broke. She still lives at home rent-free!

She’s constantly purchasing expensive clothing, which she calls “investment pieces.” Where does she get that stupid term? My wife, of course. I also know my wife pays a lot of her designer-clothing debts too. This week I put my foot down, and forbade my wife from giving her more money. I’m also thinking of telling our daughter she will have to start paying rent at home.

My wife responded by saying our daughter doesn’t drink, smoke or do drugs. “So, she shops. Big deal,” she yelled at me.

I admit she’s a good daughter and has never caused us any problems. Am I wrong to put my foot down?

— Bank of Dad Now Closed, Sage Creek

Dear Dad: The real problem will start when no partner wants to make a permanent home with your daughter and her out-of-control shopping habit. They will expect a woman they’re seriously interested in to have decent money habits.

As for suddenly charging your daughter rent, that doesn’t help the real problem, which is lack of independence and responsibility. She needs to get a place on her own or with a friend, and pay for half her rent plus food, hydro, cable, transportation and social life, not to mention designer clothes.

It would help if you showed her, in a friendly fashion, how to budget to still have an enjoyable life with a roommate or partner.

Warning: Be aware that the Bank of Mom may still be open, which will not be helpful. Check that out.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new neighbour came over to introduce himself. Just as he was leaving, he slyly mentioned he knew my wife “from before.” She says she doesn’t remember him, but she said it in a funny way. I think she does. He’s quite the pretty boy, and she had a wild and crazy life before I met her.

I didn’t know how to react to his comment. I love her like crazy, and she’s pregnant with our baby now. Any tips on keeping him off the property?

I also don’t want him listening to us talk in our screened-in, portable pagoda in the back.

— Got a Bad Feeling Off Him, Southdale

Dear Bad Feeling: The best way to react to a neighbour who gives you a negative feeling is to quietly erect barriers. You don’t need to make this a topic for debate with the neighbour. Just make your moves quickly and quietly.

Since you have a portable pagoda near his side, move it to the other side of the yard. In the front yard, plant half-grown bushes — a decorative barrier— between your property and his. If he questions that, just say blandly: “It’ll look great and you’ll be able to see it, too.” Then walk away peacefully.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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