Grow up and leave brotherly bust-ups behind

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 16/05/2022 (1556 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My brother and I got drunk again and got into another big fight in the basement. My dad came flying down the stairs and broke it up, threw us out in the yard, and locked the doors.

I could hear my mother crying inside the house. We have been drunk in the basement before, but never fist-fighting.

Dad said today we can stay until school is out but then we have to get jobs and find our own place. We are only 16 and 18, so he can’t be serious! Mom says he is serious.

We’re barely talking to him. He said making our mother cry was the last straw. What do you think we should do?

— Nowhere to Move, West Kildonan

Dear Nowhere: You blew it by acting like hooligans in your parents’ house. You will not have a good deal like that again until you’re old enough and have enough education or training to be making decent money.

Time to grow up, guys. You two need to get two jobs each. Summer is coming in six weeks. Then you have to find somebody who’ll rent a cheap place to you this summer — like a basement.

When you find a place, you’ll have to be very careful. The owners have no bond with you beyond a business transaction and you’ll get kicked out if you misbehave as tenants. That could mean playing music after a certain hour, talking too loudly, getting drunk, fighting, having a party or paying your rent even a few days late.

As for privacy, be aware that the people who own a place you’re renting want you to be quiet and not to disturb them. If you’re talking loudly, they will have no qualms about listening in.

It’s time to start trying to mend things, with written apologies to both parents. They might not want to hear your voices yet, but will probably be curious enough to read the notes. Make them real apologies — not excuses for your bad behaviour. Follow that up by straightening up your act. Maybe they’ll let you stay until fall.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I thought I was in love with a woman who was not mine to love. That’s my best friend’s wife, and she’s been way nicer to me than my selfish wife ever was. She’s been kind enough to include me in their dinners and parties, and I have better celebrations than most people.

But lately I’d been feeling confused about growing feelings for my friend’s wife… bad situation, I know.

Luckily, her sister came to Winnipeg recently for her first visit in three years — and I met her. And now I’m interested in her.

After the final dinner of her visit, I had to get her away from the family. So, I suggested a walk, and we went off down the road and into the woods nearby and walked the whole circle. We got back just as the sun was setting, and my buddy said, “We were just about to send out a search party. We thought you’d been eaten by wolves.”

I felt my face going red. I was feeling like a wolf after being alone with this beautiful woman for two hours in the woods.

Since she flew home, we’ve been secretly communicating. She’s single and free, and she really likes me. I feel the same. I know I’m being dishonest with my buddy by keeping it a secret. Should I tell him? If so, what should I say?

— Crazy About His Sister-in-Law, The Maples

Dear Crazy: Yes, you should tell your buddy that you’ve become close friends with his wife’s sister. It’s early days, so he doesn’t need to know details until the relationship goes one way or the other. You have to make sure you like this sister for who she is, and not as a stand-in for your buddy’s wife.

It can be confusing, unless the women look and act differently. In your case, they are much alike. This sister needs to be loved for her unique self, so you’ll have to take time to explore her whole personality.

The tough part? When you visit her, you can’t hide the trip you’re taking. You have to be a totally trustworthy guy if you want to explore a romantic relationship with your best friend’s sister-in-law.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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