Be a good sport and let past go for kids’ sake

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/10/2022 (1438 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My ex-wife has come back into my life in a very strange way. We divorced in our 20s — with no kids between us, thank God. We were too broke, immature and just plain stupid to raise children.

We both married other people and finally had children. Now those children have met each other through a sport, and they’re hanging out in the same crowd. I wish they wouldn’t. It’s just weird. My present wife thinks it’s “amusing.”

We’ve been invited to the end-of-season windup party at a social hall. Our exes and our children will all be there. What should we do?

— Too Uncomfortable, west Winnipeg

Dear Uncomfortable: You go, of course! What’s the worst thing that can happen? You end up at the same social table as your ex-wife and her second marriage partner? Then you and your ex-wife will automatically make small talk if it kills you.

If they compliment your son or daughter for their playing skills or personality, smile and say, “Thanks.” You might even venture to add, “And you have a nice kid/good player too.“ Then the ice is broken. You can keep talking or move along, but whatever you were worried about is over, thanks to good old politeness. Just don’t stay home and hurt your kids.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a woman when I was out walking in the bush in my fall hiking gear, wearing my crazy wolf hat with funny ears. She walked towards me, grinned and passed by a few steps. Then she turned back and said: “If it isn’t the big, bad wolf!”

Then she took off running. When I got back to the car park almost 30 minutes later, she was sitting there, obviously waiting. She said “Hello, Wolf!” laughed and offered me cookies, and a cup of coffee from her Thermos. We’ve been dating the last three weeks now.

I consider myself a bit of a mover, but I was wondering: Did this wolf get picked up by someone who’s actually better at the game?

— Wolf Like Me? Tuxedo

Dear Wolf Like Me: You knew enough about flirting to wear a goofy, non-threatening hat that invited comment — but Red Riding Hood had the smart remark and treats to reel you in. It sounds like you both won that first round. Good luck to you and Red in future rounds!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Halfway through the night, my new boyfriend always dives down to the bottom of my double bed with a pillow and sleeps the rest of the night with his legs shooting up beside. I wake up and look across and see his big bare feet. Not romantic!

We are both 21. He says this is how he and his brother shared a double bed when they were kids at home and needed more space.

I am not his brother. I expected a romantic sleeping situation like I had with my former boyfriend. He slept behind me with his lips pressed against the nape of my neck. So sexy and sweet. How do I train my new guy to stop sleeping like he’s trying to get away from his brother?

— Wanting Him Upright, St Norbert

Dear Upright: It’s re-education time. He needs to hear you talk about the joys of sleeping as a couple, in a sweet and persuasive way. You might say, “Sleeping with me could be really fun.” Then be specific: “I want your head and arms up here by me, so I can touch you or kiss you.”

But, if he simply can’t get with the program, a larger bed, like a queen- or king-size, can solve sleeping problems for most couples.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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