Doggone low to drag pooch into breakup drama

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This article was published 24/09/2024 (697 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend moved out and took my sweet boy — my dog — with her. I can live without that woman, but not without my old dog. I’ve raised him since he was a puppy.

She left me a nasty note, which I guess she thought would make me feel sorry and want her back. Ha.

She said she was living at her best friend’s house, so I drove over there. My dog was behind a little fence, but he still couldn’t get over it.

He came running towards me, crashing into the fence. It was raining and he was soaked but I pulled him over it and I took off home with him.

My ex phoned me while I was driving and threatened to involve the cops and her lawyer. I just laughed at her. She never cared the least about my dog — she didn’t even want to feed him when she was living at my place.

Now she says she won’t go to the authorities about my “dog snatching” if I let her see him every second week. What’s that all about? She doesn’t really want to see the dog, she just wants to see me again.

I told her she wouldn’t be getting any visitation privileges.

Then she started yelling that she was calling a lawyer. Will I really have to go to court over this? I can’t afford legal bills — plus, it’s my dog!

— Furious Dog Owner, Fort Rouge

Dear Furious: Not many lawyers would want to argue your ex-girlfriend’s case. Fido was yours from day one and lived with you at your home, from his puppy days until this girlfriend came for a while and left with him — without your permission.

It seems she wants to engage with you in any way possible — even a legal battle — and it’s going to result in a big bill. And for what? She’s no doubt going to lose. She might figure this out herself once she calms down.

So, wait a bit and see if she gives up. If not, invest in a lawyer — possibly one through legal aid (legalaid.mb.ca) — and get a warning letter written in “legalese” sent to her regarding who really owns that dog. That should be enough to settle the issue.

Then, if she calls you, just say in a strong and steady voice, “I’ve talked to my lawyer, and you’d best stay far away from my house and my dog. Don’t call again. Goodbye.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-wife was in Manitoba this summer for a vacation. On her way home to Ontario, she called me up and invited me for a drink. I went out of curiosity.

What a mistake.

She has never looked more beautiful. She had slimmed down and that must have been quite the expensive beauty treatment on her face.

We had a few drinks and lots of laughs. I started remembering why I used to be so in love with her in my 20s. We parted with a long kiss and I sadly went home to my third wife.

I looked at her bitter face when I got home and wondered why I didn’t try harder to make the marriage work with my first wife. She was the best of them all.

I guess it was the drinking that kept me from being a decent husband — and I’m still at it. I just need a few drinks after work. That has never really stopped for me. Does that make me a loser? I’m never violent.

Should I try to quit now? I think it’s probably too late.

— Feeling Like a Loser, St. James

Dear Feeling: Up to this point, it’s been too soon to quit for you. Now, you say it’s probably too late to quit drinking. That reveals your true love may still be the bar or the bottle.

For some people, their most comfortable environment is a favourite watering hole and they consider the group they know there as their real family.

Once they’ve had a few beers or cocktails, they start feeling freer, funnier and friendlier — and no one is critical about their drinking. They realize they don’t want to go home where they’ll be unpopular with their mate again. Besides, they would rather drink than eat dinner.

When they finally do go home, their defensive line is often something such as, “Leave me alone if you’re going to give me a hard time.”

Is this your situation, or maybe something similar? If it is, and one day you find you seriously want to quit, you can contact Alcoholics Anonymous (aamanitoba.org) for help.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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