Comforting connection cools as danger abates

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: A guy my age from Alberta contacted me though Facebook during a scary situation in my fire-threatened town in northern Manitoba, and asked very sympathetically about what I was going through at the time. We got really close during the worst of the fires, but now the extreme danger has passed in my area, he has just faded away from me, like I’m old news.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 16/09/2025 (333 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: A guy my age from Alberta contacted me though Facebook during a scary situation in my fire-threatened town in northern Manitoba, and asked very sympathetically about what I was going through at the time. We got really close during the worst of the fires, but now the extreme danger has passed in my area, he has just faded away from me, like I’m old news.

There’s no more sweet talk on the phone, no more comforting me and telling me he’d come to see me as soon as he can. I’m not the only woman in my area in this situation, either. A couple of my girlfriends basically got used for personal news reports and descriptions of the uncertain, terrifying experience.

These guys faded right out after the fires receded in our area. My guy was single (or so he says), but one of my girlfriend’s guys was married with a wife and four kids!

I think now my “hero” was getting off on my daily reports of the looming calamity. He was posting his Superman-style “I could save you” messages on Facebook to me, plus he made late-night phone calls.

Now, his Facebook messages are few and far between. I feel like such a fool for thinking he really cared about me! I feel embarrassed and mad at myself for letting this sympathetic part-time “hero,” swoop in looking for daily first-hand reports of the terrorizing situation I feared was coming my way.

He still sends me occasional Facebook messages, but they’re short and much cooler than before, like I’m some kind of emotional case he helped heal.

I feel a deep loneliness now I’ve been dropped by him. I have no assurance of my safety here in the future, but he’s lost interest in it and me.

What do you suggest I do about him and his disappearing act? He was my emotional lifeboat that used to soothe me during my terrifying days and nights.

— Don’t Understand, northern Manitoba

Dear Don’t Understand: People generally don’t ask for credentials when accepting help they desperately need. Yours was a normal response to a stranger who offered you a soothing friendship and a kind of romance when you were terrified. You took what was offered when you needed it — a friendly, sympathetic and romantic hero-type man you met online. Don’t be angry with yourself for that!

Unfortunately, it seems this guy just wanted to be a part of the wildfire drama, and you gave him the daily details that fascinated him, but he did still help you through that time emotionally. Even though he’s pretty much disappeared with the recession of the wildfires, you had someone close and interested online and on the phone when your world as you knew it was threatened.

Think of this guy as an emotional life raft who came to you when you needed it most and who has drifted off now, perhaps to play the hero and offer his interest and comfort to another woman! Yes, he loves playing Superman, but it was to your benefit, at the time at least.

It’s likely he’s found another calamity where he could play hero and support another woman. Let him go in your mind, just like you’d say, “Goodbye and thank you” to a fire fighter who helped you down a ladder to safety.

Yes, he may have moved on to other women in bad situations, but just let him go. It’s time to figure out where you’re going to settle next — even it may be a bit further south. Then it will be time to look for a new guy who lives near you and can be checked out before you get too emotionally involved.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Aunt’s hidden, mysterious life unlocks a moving meditation on humanity and family

Reviewed by Joel Boyce 4 minute read Preview

Aunt’s hidden, mysterious life unlocks a moving meditation on humanity and family

Reviewed by Joel Boyce 4 minute read 3:00 AM CDT

Valérie Perrin is not a household name on this side of the pond, but in France her novels have garnered multiple awards. In Tata, Perrin’s fourth novel but the second translated to English, a simple but intriguing premise unfolds into a complex, multi-faceted story, one that seemingly incorporates the lessons of not only her three prior novels but also her several produced screenplays.

Scene 1: Paris, an upscale apartment in the autumn of 2010. Agnes, a celebrated film director, is publicly lauded but privately still reeling from her divorce three years ago. The phone rings. On the other end is a provincial police officer from Gueugnon, who regretfully informs her that her aunt, Colette Septembre, was found dead in her home that morning.

But Agnes reacts with confusion, not grief — Aunt Colette died three years ago.

It’s a great set-up for a thriller, although this isn’t one.

Read
3:00 AM CDT

Meetings accomplish something that an email never could while respecting people’s time, building relationships

Tory McNally 6 minute read Preview

Meetings accomplish something that an email never could while respecting people’s time, building relationships

Tory McNally 6 minute read 3:00 AM CDT

There are few workplace experiences that unite employees quite like complaining about meetings. Ask almost anyone what frustrates them at work, and somewhere on the list will be the meeting that could have been an email. We’ve all been there. Thirty minutes scheduled for a simple update somehow turns into an hour. Half the attendees don’t need to be there. Someone shares their screen for ten minutes trying to find the right document. The meeting ends with everyone wondering what was actually decided.

It’s no surprise that organizations are looking for ways to reduce meeting fatigue. Every hour spent in a meeting is an hour that isn’t spent serving customers, solving problems, writing reports, or completing projects. As calendars become increasingly crowded, employees often find themselves working longer days simply to catch up on the work they couldn’t accomplish because they were in meetings.

The obvious solution seems simple: hold fewer meetings. In many cases, that’s exactly the right answer. Routine updates, policy reminders, project status reports, and information that doesn’t require discussion can often be shared through email and chat platforms. Not every piece of information deserves everyone’s calendar.

But eliminating meetings altogether would create a different problem, especially as more organizations embrace hybrid and remote work.

Read
3:00 AM CDT

Get out and about, have a sip at local beer, wine events

Ben Sigurdson 6 minute read Preview

Get out and about, have a sip at local beer, wine events

Ben Sigurdson 6 minute read 3:00 AM CDT

Beer and wine fans in Winnipeg can enjoy the dog days of summer and the first days of fall with a bumper crop of events coming in the next month that are sure to please most palates.

On Monday, the Manitoba chapter of the Canadian Association of Professional Sommeliers (CAPS) presents the Rosé the Night Away event on the rooftop of the Metropolitan Entertainment Centre (281 Donald St.) from 7-9 p.m.

A range of pink wines will be available to taste alongside small bites. Tickets are $42 for CAPS members and $55 for non-members and are available at wfp.to/iRV.

On Saturday, Aug. 22, the Winnipeg Beer Festival returns, with more than 20 producers pouring samples, including core pours and small-batch brews at Le Patio 340 (340 Provencher Blvd.).

Read
3:00 AM CDT

Nola chef earns national award

Eva Wasney 2 minute read Preview

Nola chef earns national award

Eva Wasney 2 minute read Yesterday at 2:01 AM CDT

Celebrated Winnipeg chef Emily Butcher has another feather to add to her toque. The executive chef and owner of Nola and Bar Accanto in St. Boniface has received the Culinary Award of Excellence from Restaurants Canada, a national foodservice advocacy organization.

Read
Yesterday at 2:01 AM CDT

Trailblazing Western Scrap Metals heavy-equipment operator relishes role at massive crane’s control

David Sanderson 7 minute read Preview

Trailblazing Western Scrap Metals heavy-equipment operator relishes role at massive crane’s control

David Sanderson 7 minute read Yesterday at 10:15 AM CDT

Less than five per cent of heavy-equipment operators in the country are women but that number is trending upward, according to a study conducted by trade magazine Crane & Hoist Canada.

It was reported that in Ontario roughly eight per cent of jobs in the transport and heavy-equipment field are currently held by women. Furthermore, in 2024 almost 20 per cent of graduates at an Edmonton-based heavy-equipment operator training school were female, the article stated.

That brings us to Harmony Guspodarchuk, the first female crane operator in the 70-year history of Western Scrap Metals, a family-owned business at 18 Sutherland Ave.

Three years ago, Guspodarchuk literally stepped into the driver’s seat of a 27,500-kilogram, Liebherr C 924 Heavy Lift Litronic crane. The 29-year-old hasn’t looked back much since.

Read
Yesterday at 10:15 AM CDT

Icy relationship with U.S. beginning to thaw at border, data shows; American visits to Manitoba hit five-year high

Nicole Buffie 5 minute read Preview

Icy relationship with U.S. beginning to thaw at border, data shows; American visits to Manitoba hit five-year high

Nicole Buffie 5 minute read Thursday, Aug. 13, 2026

As Canadians begin to lower their elbows and start to cross the U.S. border again, Americans are coming to Manitoba in numbers not seen in years.

Read
Thursday, Aug. 13, 2026