Be discreet when it comes to naked truth

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I am a nudist and proud of it! My guy wasn’t so free-spirited when I first started dating him, but it was a natural development for him once we started renting a beautiful old farmhouse. It has giant trees surrounding it, along with full fencing and a locked front gate with intercom — perfect for a clothing-free lifestyle.

My dream is to one day buy our little farm property, but, will neighbours accept us if they find out about our way of life?

— Shy Nudist, southeastern Manitoba

Dear Shy Nudist: Lots of country folks wear very skimpy clothes in the summer, particularly when working in hot gardens and flowerbeds. Also, more rural folks than you realize now have outdoor pools where they can swim with or without bathing suits.

Having said that, nudism isn’t something you want to advertise around any neighbourhood or some yahoos might want to come by for laughs and a look — and nobody needs that disrespect. Fencing is a good deterrent as word about it gets around fast in a rural area.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Way too soon after my divorce became final, my ex-husband has married my former best friend. I didn’t know they had something going on until they went public. I can’t help but wonder how long she’s had her claws in him, using inside information from my sad confessions. What a bad joke on me!

I told her everything about my husband and our private problems — some of them sexual. I feel so betrayed and angry now. I just want to go over there and smack her! I have to get this anger out. What do you suggest?

— Dangerous Divorcée, Selkirk

Dear Divorcee: Hitting your ex-friend would be assault, and would very likely put you in front of a judge. So, don’t do it!

One great advantage to working things out with a trained relationship counsellor is the privacy. Telling a close ‘friend’ all the dirty details can open up a whole new can of worms, as you’ve discovered. Especially so, if that buddy already finds your man attractive and feels you don’t deserve him!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend’s mother drinks like a fish, and then it’s true-confession time! She recently got hammered and confessed to me that she cheated on her husband when they were newly married. I really didn’t want to hear that, but I can’t un-hear it. I don’t want to tell her son and hurt him, either.

So now I’m stuck with this secret and the burden of keeping it. It’s making my head hurt and I want to throw up!

— Aching Brain, Fort Garry

Dear Aching Brain: You should not continue to carry this secret, as they tend to fester and destroy what’s around them — in this case, your love relationship!

So, be bold. Corner your guy’s mother and ask her if her son knows about her cheating. There’s a good chance she’s already blabbed it more than once when she was angry or your boyfriend may have overheard something about it during a fight with his dad.

Then ask yourself seriously if you really want to get into a long-term relationship which includes a mother-in-law who’s a boozer and inappropriate confessor. It could be very tough for you to live with.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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