With boyfriend and cottage, get it all in the open

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend, who is eight years older, has invited me to spend a two-week holiday in July at his beautiful cabin — an inheritance from his grandparents. I still live at home, and my “new Canadian” parents, who are ridiculously old-fashioned, have said I can’t go.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend, who is eight years older, has invited me to spend a two-week holiday in July at his beautiful cabin — an inheritance from his grandparents. I still live at home, and my “new Canadian” parents, who are ridiculously old-fashioned, have said I can’t go.

I’ve started university, and I’m already 19 and an adult. Plus, I’m on birth control, so I won’t be at risk. My parents don’t know this detail of my love life, but I have been on the pill for almost a year at this point. Should I tell my mom, so she and my dad can loosen up? I really feel the sex thing is my own private business.

I love my guy and he loves me, so I’m joining him at the lake no matter what. If my parents disown me over this, my boyfriend says I can live with him. He wants me to do that already, but hasn’t pushed too hard because he respects my complicated situation. How can I handle my parent in this situation?

— So Upset, West End

Dear Upset: To your parents right now, “the cabin” may seem like a fantasy world where you two may be ignoring real-world responsibilities and the consequences of sex. Your parents might feel better about your boyfriend if he invites them to his cabin, treats them like royalty, and they feel more familiar and secure with him being with you.

It’s time to speak to your mom about birth control so she and your dad won’t be unnecessarily worried about you getting pregnant.

Your parents may also worry your boyfriend is not the marrying kind, and would just use you for a time and then drop you.

It’s time for a frank talk with your mother, who will edit the information, as moms do, and pass it on to your dad.

Also talk to your boyfriend about the possibility of your parents’ differing reactions to the situation. He likely doesn’t know first-hand how people of their generation from another culture feel about this situation.

He needs to know everything because that is part of the complicated reality of your romantic situation.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My older girlfriend is upset about our semi-secret relationship coming out.

She has two young children I really like a lot, and they think I’m great. The kids’ dad, who is already living with another woman, does not.

He is the big problem and says he doesn’t want “some young guy messing around” with his children.

My girlfriend’s kids overheard him saying that. They asked me about it, and specifically what “messing around” means.

I’m so angry now. I’m no pedophile and I’m not going to keep quiet just and take this.

I’m the oldest of a family of seven kids. I’m naturally right at home and familiar with a big family and kids of different ages.

Please help me. I really care about my woman and her children.

— Good Guy from Large Family, Norwood

Dear Good Guy: People can’t be allowed to harm a person’s reputation with lies and there are laws against it.

Since you’re understandably worried about the kids’ father besmirching your name, talk to a lawyer ASAP.

Your girlfriend’s ex also needs to be contacted and advised of this by the lawyer regarding what could happen legally if he doesn’t stop saying things like this.

The children also need to have things straightened out on this topic. Kids learn a lot lying in bed overhearing the adults — and it can be confusing and sometimes scary, especially if they only hear one side of a story.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

The plane truth about a dangerous president

Editorial 4 minute read Preview

The plane truth about a dangerous president

Editorial 4 minute read Yesterday at 2:01 AM CDT

U.S. President Donald Trump has crossed firmly into cutting-off-your-nose-to-spite-your-face territory.

Read
Yesterday at 2:01 AM CDT

‘Dynacare sucks’: premier muses about bringing lab services back into public system

Carol Sanders 5 minute read Preview

‘Dynacare sucks’: premier muses about bringing lab services back into public system

Carol Sanders 5 minute read Wednesday, Sep. 9, 2026

Premier Wab Kinew says Manitoba may bring Dynacare’s diagnostic lab services back into the public system rather than continue to sign contracts with the for-profit company.

“Dynacare sucks. They’ve made an absolute mess of this situation,” the premier said Wednesday, the day the company’s 350 employees reported back to work after the labour board halted their strike after just one day.

Kinew first made the remark about Dynacare in a CBC radio interview Wednesday morning and added he is “not happy with them.”

Dynacare performs the majority of non-emergency blood and urine tests in the province.

Read
Wednesday, Sep. 9, 2026

Artist’s inspired work brings Red River Métis story back to Portage and Main

Conrad Sweatman 8 minute read Preview

Artist’s inspired work brings Red River Métis story back to Portage and Main

Conrad Sweatman 8 minute read Updated: 2:47 PM CDT

Jennine Krauchi calls them the “grandmothers.” “They speak to you very silently. You never hear a word, but they speak,” Krauchi says, referring to the antique pieces of Métis needlework she’s carefully studied for years. But there are few precedents for her latest art project: a 85-foot-wide by 32-foot-high chain curtain of Métis needlework that drapes over the historic Bank of Montreal’s neoclassical facade.

Read
Updated: 2:47 PM CDT

U of M students call for ban on far-right group

Maggie Macintosh 4 minute read Preview

U of M students call for ban on far-right group

Maggie Macintosh 4 minute read Yesterday at 6:00 AM CDT

Some University of Manitoba students are calling on their school to ban a far-right group from campus after posters promoting mass deportations were found during the summer break.

More than 50 people rallied on Wednesday, the first day of classes, to make known their concerns about a group called the Dominion Society of Canada.

The protest was organized after a supporter of the self-described nationalist group posted a video over the Labour Day weekend that shows him putting up flyers in Fort Garry.

“Canada is a really beautiful country and I have been welcomed here by a lot of beautiful people and it’s been amazing, but when I see harmful rhetoric online and now, on campus, it gives me a lot of anxiety,” said Ela Ancheta, an arts major at U of M.

Read
Yesterday at 6:00 AM CDT

Childfree Winnipeg group gives women without kids a place to gather

AV Kitching 5 minute read Preview

Childfree Winnipeg group gives women without kids a place to gather

AV Kitching 5 minute read Wednesday, Sep. 9, 2026

Katelyn Sawatzky founded Childfree Winnipeg Women in 2021 to bring together women who don’t have kids — be it by choice or circumstance — and do not plan on raising children.

The group is designed to help them share experiences and build meaningful friendships.

The community welcomes cisgender, straight, transgender, bisexual and lesbian women. Parents, including empty nesters and men, are turned away.

“Our group is a safe space where women can hang out with other women without being asked when you’re going to have kids or why you don’t have kids … where you don’t feel like you have to validate or defend your choices in any way, because everyone gets it,” Sawatzky says.

Read
Wednesday, Sep. 9, 2026

Awareness is the first line of defence

Joseph Borsa 4 minute read Preview

Awareness is the first line of defence

Joseph Borsa 4 minute read Updated: 8:15 AM CDT

September is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month in Canada. This proclamation helps focus public attention on the very important protective role that such awareness can play in reducing the death and suffering associated with this disease.

The underlying reason for that is simple. In its beginning, prostate cancer, as is true for all cancers, starts and grows silently and stealthily, giving no indication through pain or other symptoms of its presence and of the developing pathology. Everything appears normal to the unsuspecting host until the cancer has grown to an extent that it interferes with normal function. There might then be pain, bleeding or some other manifestation of the growing tumour.

Unfortunately, by that time the disease may have reached an advanced stage, which is much more difficult to treat, and less likely to have a favourable outcome. It is a general truth in dealing with all types of cancer that the earlier it is discovered and treated, the better the likelihood of a favourable outcome. Awareness can be a major determinant of whether such early discovery happens or not.

Discovery of the cancer during its period of silent, surreptitious growth creates the opportunity for early treatment. Fortunately, in the case of prostate cancer such detection is favoured by two factors.

Read
Updated: 8:15 AM CDT