Don’t overthink your airplane etiquette

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I travel solo on airplanes a lot for business. I can afford an expensive, comfortable seat. So, once in a while I end up sitting beside a well-known person I recognize, but I don’t ask questions and bother them. I’m primarily into the “nod and smile” response.

If resting is all they want to do, I just put on my sleep mask.

But I’m wondering if my approach could be all wrong! Is that really a polite way to handle it, or am I just coming off cold? Should I be saying more to show friendliness? Am I possibly missing out on great conversations I could be having with interesting people?

I’m not usually cold or aloof with fellow travellers, but I might appear that way. What do you think?

— Polite or Just Cold? Winnipeg

Dear Polite Or Cold: The last thing a lot of well-known people want on an airplane is to have someone try to “interview” them when they can’t escape anywhere.

So say a friendly hello as you sit down in your seat. Then let the VIP respond, and make the next move if they want to. Be sensitive to the fact they may be just beat and really need to be left alone, to relax and sleep. They’ll likely appreciate your understanding.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This week our only child asked his dad to “make a new baby” with me, so he could have a brother. I had stopped what I was doing, to listen around the corner.

His dad was quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he said, he’d “ask mom soon.”

That very night we started working hard on the project. So far, it’s been fun, but the problem is our boy has a new sibling on the brain and tells everybody he knows we’re trying.

At bedtime he asks, “Are you going to make a baby tonight?” What should we tell him? The last time we really tried, we got him, and it happened very quickly, but you can’t count on that.

— ‘Baby Makers,’ Fort Garry

Dear ‘Baby Makers’: You might tell your boy it can take a long time to make a great kid like him, and it could be after Christmas before a new baby really starts growing big enough to be born.

Tell him you’ll remind him when it’s getting close to arriving, so he doesn’t have to worry about it right now. Good luck with that one, parents!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-husband quit drinking and drugs and got into therapy after I left him. He’s turned back into a great version of himself. I find I’m feeling re-attracted when he comes by with the kids after a visit, and everybody has a great chat about their adventures that day.

Now I continue thinking about my ex after he leaves, and I wish we were a family again. I have mentioned this to him, and he just says, “Too little, too late.” I did give him a hard time in the divorce battle because I was hurting so much. Whatever happened to second chances?

— Too Late For Forgiveness? Sage Creek

Dear Too Late: The romance usually wanes during the ugly times before the actual breakup. Then, after a divorce it’s pretty much finished for one or both partners, though they may hold onto fond memories of long-lost happy times.

Don’t bother asking for a second chance at romance, but do offer a happy working relationship as parents of the kids you both love. Then quietly start looking for a new mate with your ex’s best features.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Summer holidays are coming up and there are so many possibilities — but I can’t seem to make a move. I worry about my wife and I renting a cabin for a lot of money, and having wildfires come back.

The kids keep asking what we’re going to do, and we don’t want to admit our fears to them. What can we do that’s guaranteed safe?

— Cautious Parents, Westman

Dear Cautious: Don’t stay home out of fear! Weather doesn’t give us any guarantees, so try renting for short periods — little cabins or even camper trailers.

If you have fun relatives at a certain lake, rent your first spot near them. Then, try out a couple of new locations until you find a place you really love.

Who knows? You may find you love being nomad-style campers every summer. There’s no shame in that!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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