Don’t let your old ink jinx new romance

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have some beautiful tattoo art on my body, and I’m proud of it.

This was always a point of pride between my old boyfriend and me, as we got some of ours done at the same time after lots of planning.

Unfortunately, he and I broke up just over a year ago, and people I have dated since just don’t feel the same way about my ink that was inspired by my ex.

It’s not that I have his initials on my body, so what’s the problem?

— Artistically Tattooed, St. Vital

Dear Artistically Tattooed: You’ll be happier in the long run if you take the time to talk about your tattoos with a prospective new sweetheart before you get too emotionally involved. The last thing you need is a guy who finds your body art off-putting, when to you it’s a part of your personal history.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend travels for work and uses his own car. He used to get home every weekend late on Friday nights for happy “reunions” with me when we were first dating. But now he doesn’t make it home until late Saturday afternoon, so he doesn’t have to drive through the night.

I’ve asked him where he’s been staying on Friday nights, and he lashed out at me, saying, “Why are you questioning me? I thought you trusted me.” But he did not mention any specific motels.

Should I trust my intuition on this? It feels like he’s drifted away from me. The intimacy during sex just isn’t there anymore — when we actually do have sex. But what if I’m wrong about this?

— Suspicious Girlfriend, South St. Vital

Dear Suspicious: Trust your instincts and the altered travel pattern. This boyfriend is definitely drifting away from you. As he refuses to tell you where he actually stays on Friday nights, this really is no longer a satisfactory romantic relationship.

Why are you hanging on to a man who’s treating you like this? Until you let go, you aren’t going to be free to find a better person you can trust.

Instead of the continued stress of staying with him, plan a beautiful summer for yourself with freedom to explore sports, lakes and new romantic interests. You don’t need a disingenuous guy like this, so tell him to drift right off.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My younger female neighbour sunbathes in the nude by the pool while her parents are at work. She’s in her early 20s and works nights, so she gets up in the late morning.

When I’m working from my home office, I really don’t want to have to see this woman down there without her clothes on, but she doesn’t seem to care if anybody sees her.

I told my wife, and she just waved me off and laughed, saying “She’s too young for you, old man.”

I told my wife that is in no way the issue here, and asked if she could tell the woman’s mother about it. I can’t talk to her parents, or to her for that matter, as they‘ll just assume I’ve been leering out my office window at her. What should I do?

— Unwilling to Look, Linden Woods

Dear Unwilling: You could consider installing a bamboo-slat blind or some other type on the home-office window from which the young woman can be seen. Then just snap it shut when the naked sunbather shows up. Mention the idea to your wife — she probably needs a good laugh at this point.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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