Young wife has people talking

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This article was published 19/10/2015 (3997 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in my 60s and have a beautiful younger wife, and everybody looks at us and whispers about it. We walk together through the towns and cities of places in Europe and people smile and nod, appreciating her beauty, and my luck. People back home in small-town Winnipeg treat me like cradle robber and conversations come to a stop when my wife goes into a ladies washroom at an event.

One lady prefaced a snarky remark to her by saying, “You’re the woman who’s with the older man in the grey suit, aren’t you, dear?” It happens “Dear” is in her early 30s with an excellent education and job and knows exactly what she’s doing. She’s with the man she loves, who adores her, and it’s nobody’s business. Why are people so judgmental about beauty and age in this country? How do we shut them up?

— Her “Older Man,” Winnipeg

Dear Older Man: People run into envy in all areas of life, and it isn’t only to do with beauty or good-looking younger mates, but also sports prowess, sleek cars, costly holidays, houses and lifestyles. How do you handle it? You don’t. If someone makes a snarky comment to you, you have every right to ignore them and turn away. They know they dealt you a verbal blow, and they’re lucky they got silence back instead of the cutting comment they deserve.

This is harder for kids to handle, but adults can do it quite easily, and you and your lady should do just that.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was waiting at the doctor’s office for an appointment when a friend I had pushed away several years ago came bounding in. She plunked herself down beside me and started to yap like nothing had ever happened. She asked intimate questions about my old boyfriend and told inappropriate stories about her own sex life. That’s one of the reasons I ditched her — she was always embarrassing me.

Finally, the nurse shushed her, and frankly, the rest of the room looked disappointed as she had juicy stuff to say. She asked me for my new phone number and I gave her the wrong number on purpose. Now I feel guilty. Was that the wrong thing to do? Should I phone her and apologize?

— Ex-Friend for a Reason, St. Boniface

Dear Ex-Friend: Unless you and she used this trick with guys in the past when you were out together, she’ll probably think the wrong number was an innocent mistake, made in a hurry. Was it a wrong thing to do? Yes, perhaps, but the truth might have been too hurtful to hear, especially sitting in a doctor’s office. You could call her and explain you’re not prepared to be friends again, or you can just leave it and see if she makes another move.

You probably have mutual friends and she could likely get the right phone number and call you. Maybe deal with the problem then, if it ever happens. Or, since your conscience is bothering you, give her a call and explain as briefly as you can the friendship doesn’t work for you anymore and that’s why you gave her the wrong number. Ouch!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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