Mom needs to know whatboyfriend is up to behind her back

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This article was published 16/03/2017 (3159 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is seeing a man who secretly tries to flirt with me behind her back. He gives me compliments, eyes me up and down, and asks what my boyfriend is like to me. I get bad shivers. My mom is so excited about him. I don’t want to spoil her good time. She has been so happy lately. Please give me the words to say.

— Upset Daughter, West End

Dear Upset Daughter: Tell your mom right away. Tell her word for word the things he has said and asked when she wasn’t in the room. Tell her how he makes you feel inside, and what your spidey senses are telling you. If she looks really upset, leave the room and let her cry if that’s what she needs to do. Possibly, she’ll need time to call him and tell him where to go. Talk to her again later. Most moms hate to break down in front of their daughters, in pain, anger or embarassment, especially over a man. Even if she’s sad, don’t back off the truth.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m pretty careless with fire, and have probably started and put out more kitchen fires than you can imagine. I love campfires and fireplaces and once dated a fireman. I loved his stories about fires — they turned me right on. My most recent boyfriend has suggested I have a fire problem. He says the only place we need more fire is in the bedroom, if we don’t have candles burning. I always want 10 to 15 candles going when we’re making love, and now he’s nervous and wants none. Do you think I have a problem?

— Fascinated by Fire, Wolseley

Dear Fascinated by Fire: Repeated carelessness in the kitchen means you’re subconsciously hoping to start a fire that you don’t have to take responsibility for starting. Your fascination with fire goes way over the mark. You need to figure out how it got started, what fire means to you and how to douse that impluse before somebody gets seriously hurt or killed.

It’s time to allow yourself to read up on pyromania, its causes and how it can be treated. Then you should take a long look back into your life to when you remember these impulses starting. Hypnotism can help you if you can’t remember.

Psychiatrists are free on Medicare, but wait times can be long. You can book a psychologist, but must pay for the appointments. First, find out if a psychologist would be on your group health plan if you are at a workplace that has one. You really need to see a professional and down deep you know that now.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met this really cute guy at the bar and I passed him my phone number, and he called me next day. He asked me to meet him for a pizza that night, but I had band practice. Then he asked me for a second night and I had promised a friend to see a movie. Then he gave up and said goodbye, kind of embarassed-sounding. I think he thought I wasn’t interested or I had been playing him, but I really like him. I have his number now. Should I call him back?

— Didn’t Mean To Discourage Him, Winnipeg

Dear Didn’t Mean To Discourage Him: By all means, call him back and offer some evenings you are available this week for that date. Say to him, “I hope you didn’t think I’d changed my mind about wanting to see you. How about Thursday, Saturday or Sunday?” Give him three nights to choose from to show enthusiasm and flexibility. Good luck!

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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