Diagnosis: posing as a doctor is idiotic

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This article was published 11/04/2017 (3443 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I told a lie and got found out. My new online lady asked me what I did for work a few weeks ago. I told her I worked in a medical field. She thought I was a doctor, an intern, a research scientist or something. I’ve been secretive, hinting it’s for privacy reasons. It’s actually because I’ve been lying my face off.

She came into the hospital the other night with a friend who was in the emergency waiting room and spotted me. She could immediately see I was neither a doctor nor an intern by what I was doing. My job is way down the ladder. She stared me in the eye, then tossed her head in disgust.

The thing is I really liked this woman and still do. That’s why I was trying to impress her. Now she won’t take my calls and texts of apology. How can I get her to at least talk to me, so I can apologize in person? I can hear voices in my head calling me bad names. — Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire, Winnipeg

Dear Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire: It’s too late. She wants you to leave her alone now, so stop harassing her. You blew it and you know it and hopefully will never do that again. It’s a huge mistake to misrepresent yourself to feel like a hot shot. You can fall for that person you’ve been fooling. Then you either have to confess, disappear or pretend to drop them for some reason.

So this is the price you pay — being shunned by this woman you lied to. All you can do now is learn. Next time you meet someone, say truthfully, “I work in a hospital, but I’m not a doctor or an intern.” That might have been acceptable to this woman you just lost, unless she was fishing for a man with a status career.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got kicked to the curb by a pessimist who said our relationship would never work out. That was his prediction for everything. It was the same thing with the first job in his field, which he started and lost. The same with his marriage and his poor kids. He loses everything and then he says, “I knew that would happen. I said it from the start.”

Into his dark world of dire predictions came a sunny optimist — me — who thought I could light up his life, but he changed me, instead! The only thing he could do right and was proud of was sex. I was hooked by that — a lot of pretty words and clever moves. (I never said he was stupid.) How did I turn from an optimist to a pessimist in one lousy relationship?

Three weeks of missing me and now he’s now trying to get me back, saying everything I initially longed for and pretending to be hopeful about us. I know there’s still a big “no” written across his heart. He was so discouraging to me that I finally grew a hard casing over my soft heart, but he still made me feel so guilty when he said yesterday, “You were the sunshine of my life. How can I live without you now?” Should I give him one more try to see if he can be an optimist, as he’s promising now? — Weakening a Little, Wolseley

Dear Weakening a Little: No amount of fancy talk should induce you to go back into that dark hole. You have all the proof you need. The new attitude he promises is just clever talk. The only negative thought in your mind right now should be this one: “No more of that pessimist.” Pessimists get pleasure out of bursting balloons. They sneer at positive people, thinking they’re fools, all while protecting themselves from having to try.

You need to stay away from him and go into repair mode. Avoid other negative people you know and your optimism and glow will soon come back. Forget the role of rescuer and think ahead. Visualize and attract a guy with a positive attitude and an adventurous heart — a winner!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. ,Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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