Jock gets wrong kind of action on date

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This article was published 02/05/2017 (3113 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went out on a date sparked by a woman on Tinder. She was way better looking in person than she was in her photo! She said she did that on purpose so she wouldn’t get the predatory jocks. Well, I’m a sports nut, a weightlifter and a real jock — and I was looking to get some action. Frankly, I thought from her picture she was plain enough she might be impressed by my muscles and overlook my ugly face and cauliflower ears. I started to laugh, and then a bottle of wine later, I told her what I had first thought. I was drunk enough that I thought she would think it was funny, too. She didn’t.

She said she could have overlooked the cauliflower ears if she thought I had a good mind, a kind heart and some class. She said she could see she was wrong on all three counts, threw money on the table to cover her half of the tab and walked out. The trouble is I really liked her and when I sobered up, I knew I deserved the treatment I got in the end. Do you think I should call her and apologize or would she even listen to me? I have her cell number.

— Big Mouth, Big Ears, River Heights

Dear Big Mouth, Big Ears: Try to apologize, but don’t do it just to try to get another date — it’s probably too late for that to happen anyway. Just apologize so she knows you’re classy enough to be sorry. That might stop her from telling everyone she knows what a jerk you were on your date. Then go talk to a psychologist or relationship counsellor about why you think the way you do about women and yourself.

It’s hard to tell which you disrespect more.

You need to change your attitude on that first before you can succeed in the dating world.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is very easygoing and I’m pretty aggressive. This is not a problem in our life at home, but it’s a big problem when we go travelling. He starts acting very cowed when he’s in a country where English isn’t the first language. On holidays, he’s a big wuss and it’s me who has to find the lost luggage, point out there’s a spider in the soup or get us decent seats on the tour bus. I have had to fight off people who were trying to push ahead of us in lineups and fight for the right price for a rental car when the guy was trying to cheat us. It’s gotten so I don’t like taking my favourite kinds of holidays in different places because I’m tired of looking after my big baby.

Also, I don’t feel sexual toward him on holidays when he has wimped out again and I had to rise up and fix something for us. Then we go back to the room and he’s lying on his side patting the bed and telling me he’s in the mood. He just looks like a disgusting weakling to me, so I go down to the bar to flirt with the guys pouring drinks. I enjoy being equal to a man in a sex situation, but my husband only shines where he’s the boss in the office (where I met him). But yet, he goes from boss to baby when he’s out of his secure environment and I have to protect him. What can I do?

— Tied to Big Vacation Baby, St. Boniface

Dear Tied to Big Vacation Baby:You can’t change your husband, yet you need to get rid of the power problem, so go on holidays with a girlfriend where neither of you speak the local language and no one is cowed. Or go out of the country with your husband on a group tour with a guide who smoothes the way for everyone. How about two holidays a year? It could be fun.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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