Sexual relationship with half-brother off limits

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This article was published 16/05/2017 (3355 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m embarrassed to say I’m in love with my half-brother. My father had him with a girlfriend from his past when he lived in another province, but they never married. I just met this gorgeous man when he came to see his father a while ago. I have a big crush. We laughed about it, but it wasn’t really funny for me. I tried to kiss him on the lips goodbye and he said no. I know he was attracted to me, too. I could feel it and see the evidence.

He just went back to Ontario and I really miss him, but he is firm that nothing will ever happen between us. He said it was too creepy. I miss him every day. Should I contact him online in a friendly way?

— Half-Sister, Transcona

Dear Half-Sister: No means no. He said it creeps him out and he doesn’t want any romantic relationship. You must respect that. Even though you were raised apart, you do share your mutual father’s DNA. There are lots of men in this world besides your half-brother. Don’t try to complicate this guy’s life. Leave him alone to get back into his regular life and past the confusing and perhaps shameful/guilty feelings he experienced with you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend is going to a camp in the States again this summer where he has always had the same girlfriend, who is American. He has told me honestly he will be with her again at camp and I should find myself a new boyfriend here in Winnipeg to be with this summer. When he gets back, he will see how he feels. What about how I feel?

I told him he presumes too much about his power to pick and choose and I will not be waiting. He just shrugged. He is attending my grad with me in June, so I have to keep quiet until then and it’s killing me! I am so upset about him, I cry myself to sleep.

— Second Choice, South Winnipeg

Dear Second Choice: Break free! This guy isn’t worth crying yourself to sleep over. It will be hard for you to study for final exams and will make a wreck out of you. He would be a fake date, anyway, doing you a favour. So punt him right now while you have time to get a date with a another male friend for that evening, where you can at least relax and enjoy the night with family and friends. By telling you the truth, this boyfriend you have now has let it be known that his camp girlfriend is No. 1, and only if she has found someone else would he fall back on choice No. 2 — you. You can do so much better than that, if you get yourself free now and take back your pride.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m with a woman who talks in her sleep. It used to be gibberish, but now I’m getting full words. I couldn’t stay awake for the whole night’s verbal wanderings, so I taped it and listened to it yesterday morning. A certain guy’s name was coming up over and over again. She was obviously having erotic dreams about him.

I asked her about him this morning and she blushed and took off out of the house to catch the bus. I am scared to ask any more details about who he is. What should I do about this?

— Her Female Lover, Winnipeg

Dear Her Female Lover: You stumbled on something here — an old love, or perhaps some guy she fantasizes about now.

Do you know of a guy in her life by the name she’s saying? If your female lover is actually bisexual, or is toying with the idea of being with a man she has met, you need to know, and the sooner the better.

She blushes because she knows the identity of the guy she dreams about. I doubt it’s someone famous or she might have told you and had a bit of a laugh about it — although it probably wouldn’t be funny to you.

So screw up your courage and ask. And ask her if you should be worried.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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