Girlfriend’s Vegas trip has him feeling like craps

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This article was published 18/05/2017 (3096 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got home from a business trip early and was very anxious to see my girlfriend. I hadn’t been able to get an answer from her by cell, her home phone or Facebook for a few days. She wasn’t home, but I finally caught her roommate on the house phone and she let it slip that my girlfriend had gone off for a few days with a friend, whose name she didn’t mention. Then she quickly hung up. She didn’t say if it was a woman or a man.

My girlfriend came home the next day from Vegas, of all places, where she gambled, saw shows and had a wild time. I was furious. She said the opportunity just came up. It was bad enough she didn’t tell me about the trip, didn’t invite me to go with her and secretly went with someone she said was her girlfriend from her hometown (whose name I still don’t recognize), she then had the nerve to get all uppity about my being mad! “It’s my life!” she said and showed me a photo of her with her arm around some woman down there looking drunk. This was her proof she wasn’t with a guy.

I don’t know if I believe her even with the photo, as it could be any old drunk gambler down there. She doesn’t accept any questioning about this friend and just cuts me off. The less said the better, when you’re lying, eh? I don’t trust her, especially because she cheated on me once two years ago and that’s why I postponed our wedding, stopped calling her my fiancée and put her on probation. That’s what I call it. What do you think of all this?

— Still Wondering If It’s a Lie, Winnipeg

Dear Still Wondering If It’s a Lie: This doesn’t sound like a relationship that is heading for marital bliss anywhere down the road. You don’t completely trust this girlfriend (for good reason), and she is no doubt mad about the “probation.” Did you take away the engagement ring and put it in a vault, too? Not surprisingly, she doesn’t like being treated like a teenager or a criminal, so she finally rebelled by sneaking off to Vegas with a friend.

Consider dumping her and finding someone new who will make a great wife for you and a mom for your kids — a grown-up you totally trust. And what were you thinking, putting a woman in your life “on probation”? That puts you in what role — the judge, her probation officer? This is not a healthy relationship and you are also part of the problem. Consider counselling for yourself after you break if off.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband has a wandering eye in the mall and at the beach. He says there’s no harm in looking and he invited me to look too, so I started taking binoculars to sports events and checking out the bodies of the guys on the field. It’s become great fun for me because I have company. There’s always the same couple who gets season tickets with us, and the other woman and I both have binoculars. We discuss the builds of the athletes we’re looking at, particularly their hot buns.

This annoys both our husbands now and we enjoy that. Last night my husband asked me to cut it out as it’s bothering him, so I asked him if he’d quit ogling women when when we’re in public and he said that was different. So how is that different?

— Don’t Want to Quit, Southdale

Dear Don’t Want To Quit: It’s different to your husband because nobody but you gets hurt and embarrassed when he’s ogling women. Now it’s become a game for everyone and both he and his friend are found to be losers in comparison to the well-built athletes. He hates it and probably so does his friend. You and your friend may want to use the binoculars less frequently, with less hooting.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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