Grandma’s romance not hurting anyone

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This article was published 07/10/2017 (3282 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my grandmother but I don’t know if I should talk to my critical mother about Gran’s new “man friend.”

My grandmother has lost her filter in her old age, and she told me and my friends, over Pepsi and whiskey (she calls them Piskeys!), that she and this guy have been “getting it on.” She is from the hippie era. She said, “No big deal. It’s just sex between two friends. Your inheritance is safe, baby!”

She really makes me laugh. My mother, on the other hand, is so uptight compared to Gran, she makes me cringe.

I feel like a sneak for keeping this information to myself, but Grandma certainly didn’t tell me, thinking I’d pass it on to her uptight daughter. Grandma says: “Where did my daughter get that tight-ass attitude?” I said, “If you’d pretended to be a prude, then she’d have rebelled by being a wild child like you were, Gran!”

She laughed and changed the topic to pot. For the 10th time she complained she “couldn’t get any pot in the old folks’ home” as her supplier is now in the other end of the city.” I just laugh and say, “Well, I don’t deliver pot, if that’s what you’re hinting at.”

My friends adore her. She’s like, from another era… But seriously, is it dangerous for my grandma to be having sex with no protection, and could she get kicked out of her assisted-living situation, which is way nicer than my apartment? — What To Do With Grandma? Winnipeg

Dear What To Do: It’s not likely to harm Grandma’s health to have a man friend, but it could enhance it. And it’s more likely, since your grandmother is such a crackerjack, that the man is in the most danger, if she’s at the wheel of the love boat. However, she should be aware of sexually transmitted infections.

If you were in your grandma’s place, what would you want in the last portion of your life? I’m betting warm arms around you, affection, laughter, conversation and someone to hold you in the night.

What do you think telling your mother will help to do? Mom might be disgusted and try to shame her mother. But she’s not likely to report this to the powers that be after getting her mom into that place.

You are Grandma’s confidante, and if she’s not feeling any ill effects, you don’t need to report on her social life. If you have your own apartment, you’re no baby at this point.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I started my last year of high school a few weeks ago and I’m in love. The woman in my dreams every night is a young teacher not more than five or six years older than I am and a foot shorter. I could rest my elbow on her head if I were an immature jerk — which I’m not.

I am going to take sciences and go into medicine and become a country doctor. She’s a country girl and I’m a summer country guy — spent every summer at camps, with my parents at their cabin or in the woods on some adventure. I have my whole life mapped out.

I pretended I need a little help with her subject and have stayed after school twice to get her to explain something. I ask her a bit about her life — city versus country — and all that. She says she likes the city for now, but wouldn’t want to raise kids here. That’s exactly how I feel!

Yes, I know this is a hopeless romance, or a one-sided crush, but I think she likes me a lot, which can’t hurt anything.

What can I do? I’m close to falling in love. — Crazy About Her, Winnipeg

Dear Crazy About Her: If you’re making up plans about her in your daydreams, your smartest bet is to fantasize that this is the lady you will come back to get on your white stallion years from now.

This is not the time to try to make any headway except for her to think of you as a nice guy who’s mature for his age.

Go off and enjoy your last high school year in a way that is appropriate for your age — having a girlfriend, for instance.

Don’t spend the year pining over this teacher. She couldn’t date you even if she wanted to, or she could lose her career.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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