Contact from half sister could be a scam

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 05/10/2017 (2942 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts:

I heard from a person on Facebook who claimed to be a long-lost daughter of my father. I was shocked and phoned my father immediately. He denied it, but said he thought he knew who might try to perpetrate malicious mischief like this. (He talks funny because he’s British.)

He recently inherited a lot of money from his wealthy mother and word has gotten around. I asked him who it might be, and he said the daughter of a woman he used to go out with, who might know his mother died. He said the woman’s child was something of a disturbed child and insisted on calling him daddy.

The person who contacted me wants to meet me, but my dad said I shouldn’t and he would take care of it. 

But what if it is really is my half-sister? What if my father is lying? My mom divorced my dad because of his lying and betrayals. Should I meet with this person? I’m in my 30s and old enough to take care of myself. I need to see with my own eyes. What if she looks like me?

— Don’t Trust Dad or Possible Sister, Winnipeg

Dear Don’t Trust Dad or Possible Sister: Don’t go alone to meet this woman. Take someone else in your family or, even better, show up with your lawyer and another family member. If this is a ruse, you don’t want to be charmed into accepting her as your half-sister. She may have been hurt when your father drifted off from her mother. Perhaps she would like to make things difficult for him, especially now he has the smell of money on him.

Then there’s the chance you may meet her and be looking at someone who looks enough like a sister to warrant a paternity test. Or she may only look like her mother and still be your father’s child. You might want to insist on a test either way.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writing in response to the letter from Scared of Rape or Abduction. She said she was terrified in the city of being grabbed and never seen again by my family and friends. I am the only female Brazilian jiu-jitsu blackbelt instructor in Manitoba and am a certified self-defence specialist who teaches women’s-only self-defence classes, including rape escape and weapons-defence training. I teach private or group lessons within the city. I have taught groups of women who are preparing to go travelling, as well as at private parties, family sessions and corporate groups.

Brazilian jiu-jitsu is a self-defence-based martial art that is applicable for a smaller person (woman or child) to defend themselves against a much larger and stronger attacker in a variety of unexpected situations using technique and leverage. I also hand out whistles and flashlights to my students for them to carry. Maybe I can help.

— Self-Defence Specialist, 204-227-5514, Winnipeg

Dear Self Defence Specialist: Thanks for writing in with helpful information for the frightened girl who wrote me, and for anyone else out there who would like this type of training. Some people are so afraid they shut their minds off about learning any self-defence techniques; as if, if they ignore it, then it will never happen. It’s far better to get the proper training and be ready for all eventualities. You never know what will happen in life. This training should be widely taught to girls and women of all ages. Boys and men should learn to defend themselves too. It’s not just women who can get attacked.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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