Relationship triangle ends in grief for everyone

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This article was published 18/10/2017 (3209 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fell in love with my sister’s friend and things were great for a whole year until she started falling out of love with me.

She confided in my sister that she had another guy in mind from her work, and that she was going to try to “nicely get out of things with me.”

My sister, being the good sister she is, immediately phoned and ratted her out to me.

I was so upset I went straight to my girlfriend’s place and told her that I knew, and then she phoned my sister and told her off.

Now three people are upset and only one deserves to be — my girlfriend, who is now my ex.

I feel badly because my sister has lost her yoga and hiking partner.

I also feel badly because this girl was already lining up some guy before dumping me.

I really feel sorry for myself because I thought I was finally in love with someone.

I couldn’t tell she was losing it for me, although she made a lot of excuses recently to get out of having sex with me.

I don’t know what to do to make things better.

I know my sister wishes I’d never gotten involved with one of her friends. She’s right. I wasn’t thinking of anyone but myself when I fell for that girl and went after her.

Please help me to make things better for my sister, at least. — Sorry Brother, Fort Richmond

Dear Sorry: See the ex-girlfriend and smooth things over enough so it isn’t all-out war, and your sister and she can still talk to each other if they choose. That means forgiving this girl for falling out of love with you and perhaps asking what you did wrong as a kind of “exit interview” like people do at some workplaces.

You might be able to learn something to help you in your next relationship. I wish I could give you a peek at the next woman in your life.

People seem to think there’s no one else coming up, especially as they grow a bit older.

One thing you can do when your emotions settle down, is plan to go on a trip — but not necessarily a tourist trip with a buddy.

Consider an adventure trip where you’d meet some cool people who share an interest of yours.

A good way to get over somebody faster is to make your life more exciting and thus bring more exciting people into it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Well, you aren’t going to believe what crap my husband is trying to tell me.

He wants to sell the house — our only big possession — and “invest” the money. I know what he wants to invest the money in, and it’s gambling on the horses.

I said I won’t agree to selling the house and he said he’d “see about that.”

— Worried Sick Over the Horses, Winnipeg

Dear Worried: Talk to Gamblers Anonymous about what you suspect you’re facing.

This won’t be the first time they’ve heard desperate schemes to get hold of money to gamble with.

Could he have a huge gambling debt already?

Also talk to an accountant and a lawyer about what you believe your husband is up to. You need to protect yourself and the money that rightfully belongs to you. Don’t continue to share an accountant or lawyer with him at this point. Check everything out and start quietly making a plan with your own advisers.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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