Banish workplace crush from your thoughts

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/10/2017 (3270 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This morning my husband sneered, “Who’s this Don guy you were whimpering about in your sleep last night?” I said, “I don’t know a Don.” I really don’t, so I sounded convincing. The guy I’m dying to make love with has a slightly different name that rhymes with it, though. I’ve been dreaming about this married man from work at night and I can’t seem to get him out of my mind. I crave him! I want him so badly he’s on my brain day and night — and I catch sight of him quite often during the day, and sometimes we have to spend a little time together at work… I know I’m heading for trouble. So how do I stop this dreaming about my fantasy guy to the point where I’m calling out for him in my dreams? Help!

— On The Verge of Trouble

Dear On The Verge: Starting now, you’re going to have to start programming your brain before bedtime so the obsessive thought pattern isn’t waiting to be added to unrestrained hot emotions in your dreams, for a truly erotic sleep episode. Some women actually experience full orgasm in their dreams. Do you? Is your husband a deep sleeper?

Let’s talk turkey… how did this crush get so strong and erotic with the man at work? Are you not telling me everything, as I suspect, and it’s actually proceeded to pretend friends, long lunches and sessions in the back of the parking lot?

Your husband’s question should mean to you: wake up unless you want to break up.

Do you really want this guy in your life? Does he want you? Does he have a wife he cares for and children? If so, you need to get him out of your head now, and here’s how: When you start to daydream about him, silently yell “STOPPP!” in your mind and replace the thoughts with a different thought or scene. Have some substitute turn-off ready to go, like your kids crying, “Mama please, don’t leave our daddy!”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: There’s a guy across the back lane from me. I can see down into his yard from my bedroom window and he works out with two machines in the yard — a big muscle-bound guy. He also runs and leaves from his back door. There was always something familiar about his face and general build, but his hair is long and in his face and he wears hats.

Last week he got his hair cut and his beard shaved off. I could see him very clearly. Bingo! It was a guy I barely knew but had liked from high school 10 years ago. So, I gathered up my courage and took out the garbage. When I was out there I yelled out “Hi!” and his name, and he came through the fence.

I reintroduced myself after all these years and he said he remembered me from school. Then he said he’d seen me looking down at him a bunch of times when he was on his back doing sit-ups. Embarrassing! My mouth opened and shut like a guppy. Then he said abruptly he had to go and he was gone. Now what?

— Caught Peeping, Fort Rouge

Dear Caught: Now, sweet nothing, girlie. You got caught peeping and were called on it. You might have saved the moment by joking about it — maybe something sassy and flattering — and there’s a chance he would have laughed. By saying nothing, it turned into more awkwardness for you.

Close your curtains as a visual apology. The cold weather is coming and he’ll be moving his machines inside pretty soon. It’s funny how people think they can stand inside their windows with the curtains wide open and no one can see them because they’re inside their own house.

It doesn’t work that way if you’re right up by the glass looking. Some people swear they can feel eye beams staring holes in them.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6