Hide grandma’s purse when she comes to visit

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This article was published 12/11/2017 (3235 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My grandmother steals stuff when she’s at our house. It used to be kind of funny, but it’s escalated from silly little things to bigger things such as jewellery that will fit in her purse and pockets.

We love having her over, but the last time she stole my watch off the sink and I caught her in the master bedroom upstairs having a look around in my bureau drawer. I asked her what she was doing there, and she said she was just looking around. She didn’t even have a guilty look. I closed the door and steered her out.

What do we do? We have started watching her purse and have managed to steal a few things back before she goes. I don’t want to have to play cop and dump her purse on the table before she leaves our house. We also don’t want to stop having her over, as we love her dearly. She’s just losing her marbles.

We don’t want a big confrontation that embarrasses her and she won’t feel welcome to come back. She wouldn’t steal if she knew what she was doing, and at her age, she could die suddenly any day. She is in her 90s. Please help us.

— Loving Our Klepto-Grandma, Transcona

Dear Loving Our Klepto-Grandma: Since your grandmother uses her purse to hide her stolen treasures, take her coat and purse from her at the door and put the purse up high in the closet

Assign someone who is subtle and kind in the family to follow her when she goes off wandering, and lock whatever doors you can, even with little hooks way up high.

The bathroom is a special problem. Make sure there’s nothing in the medicine cabinet that you don’t want her to slip into her bra or pockets and clothing, and just be prepared to lose a little toilet paper.

If anyone does catch her in the act stealing anything, the trick is to quietly take it back and say, “Oh, that belongs to so-and-so,” and change the topic while you get her back into the regular party.

You might want to find an excuse to give her a little grab bag of little gifts from the dollar store. Tell her it’s her half-birthday or Grandmother’s Day, any made-up event, and wrap each little item.

You don’t have to confront her, or keep her out of your house, just involve the family in being creative while working with this problem in an atmosphere of love and good humour.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My relatives have invited us to their place in the city for Christmas. The truth is, my husband, I and the kids want to stay home. We don’t know what to say.

We have gone to Winnipeg every few years, but now the kids are older and more attached to their friends and activities in our town. Also, our daughter is in high school now and has a steady boyfriend. My husband and I would like to see our relatives this year, but not right on Christmas. Help!

— Our Situation has Changed, Rural Manitoba

Dear Our Situation has Changed: Your loving extended family just want to see you, so don’t blankly refuse, offer a fun substitution instead.

Boxing Day can be a big letdown kind of a day for a lot of people, so ask if you can come to Winnipeg on Boxing Day and order food. (Many people will be turkeyed-out by then.)

Or, if that’s too expensive, suggest a potluck dinner with all the leftovers, and name some substantial things you’ll bring, such as a big ham, pot of meatballs or a hot veggie dish.

You can have a board game tournament for everyone after dinner. Rather than subtract, you can propose extra fun in a way that makes everybody happy.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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