No butts about it, tattoo should go

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 16/11/2017 (3174 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I thought I would weigh in on Buttgate, so to speak (the couple fighting over the tattoo of his former girlfriend’s name on his bum. She signed her name, Separated By His Awful Tattoo).

I can appreciate both sides in this duel. She doesn’t want to marry her love mate when she has to look at his skin art featuring his ex-girlfriend. I also understand his unwillingness to get rid of the offending piece.

I know nothing about removing tattoos, but I suspect there may be some pain involved. Another possible solution is to get the artist to try and alter the existing tattoo and make it into something less offensive to his love. Tattoo artists are very talented in general and it could be a solution.

— Fearless, Manitoba

Dear Fearless: Yes, it might be painful, particularly where it is located, but it had to have hurt a fair bit to have it tattooed in the first place.

If he has more added to change the existing tattoo, it’s going to hurt again, plus it’s still going to be there in his woman’s mind. I vote for removal.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Why is this guy so eager to keep this defunct girlfriend’s name in his butt crack? Is he afraid that removing or covering it will be painful? If it were reversed and she had her old boyfriend’s name tattooed next to her genitalia, he would be just as put off.

If either of them is going to commit to marriage, they both need to ensure they are ready to commit fully. He wants her to do so, but seems unwilling to give her similar consideration.

This is not some random tattoo she objects to; it’s a past girlfriend, so why is he trying to keep it?

She may love him to the core of her being, but his desire to retain the tattoo suggests he is not ready to commit equally, and she is sensing this in him. Where is the test of the strength of his love?

— Not Going the Extra Mile, Winnipeg

Dear Not Going the Extra Mile: It’s not that he’s so eager to keep it, but that he never sees it himself because it’s behind him, quite literally.

He doesn’t notice it, so it means nothing to him and he makes the mistake of thinking it should mean nothing to her, although he may secretly enjoy sitting on it as a way of disrespecting the old girlfriend.

The present lady sees it every time he bends over getting dressed or perhaps in certain sexual positions. They’re just getting into things and, oh, there’s the ex-girlfriend’s name in view again!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a university student and in a bad situation for a guy who’s supposed to be intelligent. I’m on a computer all the time, so I’ve been online dating and talking to people to give myself some breaks and a little romance. Just two girls at once, but now, both of them want to fly in during their Christmas holidays at home and they want to come on overlapping days.

My siblings and best buddy think this is funny. It’s not.

I really want to see them both and find out which one I really click with in person. That would help me sort things out. But, this situation as it stands, is a trainwreck. I know it’s my own fault. What can you suggest?

—Two-Timing Mess, South End

Dear Two-Timing Mess: You simply can’t run two visits from these woman back-to-back without getting into big trouble. It’s not just the dates you have to watch, it’s what your family and friends say to these women. They may not make mistakes intentionally, but they’re bound to be a little mixed up on things told to them by the ladies.

Rather than juggling the two, let one candidate come in, and fly to see the other one yourself, if you have the money. These trial visits should be short — just a long weekend at most — but to save money they need to be booked right now. So straighten this out before you get into exams, project deadlines and the emotional holiday time of December.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography