Train boyfriend to be the customized lover you want

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/11/2017 (2885 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: After my new boyfriend and I make love, he has a shower immediately, presumably to get rid of my sweat, and then he rolls over, says goodnight and goes right to sleep.

I’m still buzzing because, if he bothered to ask, I’m multi-orgasmic and could be brought back up for another one or two orgasms.

Unfortunately, he’s made it plain he’s had his satisfaction and he’s ready to sleep for the night. So I sigh, clip a reading light onto my book and read myself to sleep, feeling frustrated.

I’m thinking I’m not going to want much more of this lame-o treatment. Should I end it and tell him to have a nice life? — Fed Up, Downtown

Dear Fed Up: Don’t turf him, talk to him. Tell him exactly what you want, that you’re lucky enough to be multi-orgasmic and how that works for you. Tell him you would like two or more trips up the mountain if he can stay awake for the extra fun. Plus, you’d like to show him some new moves and he could show you some things he knows about, too.

Later, ask him (nicely) why he hits the shower immediately after orgasm. Maybe this is what his previous girlfriend shooed him off to do, and she trained him to be like that.

Women, for the most part, are the ones who read about love, sex, positions, adventures and even kinky stuff and costuming, plus romance and sexy novels. Men seem to think all this knowledge will come naturally. They often prefer a verbal education along with some show-and-tell fun.

The good part is they usually make willing students. Who doesn’t want to learn this great stuff?

So don’t make fun of your new man or put him down. Set up the bedroom for romance, fun and games, talk about everything over dinner at your place and then start some fun experimenting together.

You could turn this guy into a magnificent lover, tailor-made for you, and he could do the same with you, for him.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a shapely woman in purple clothes at a grocery store and we started joking in the ice cream aisle. Then I dragged her to the frozen foods section and she helped me shop for stuff to cook for my dad’s birthday dinner, and then we bought a fancy cake. By the time we got to the checkout I was dying to know her better, so I asked for her number. She said “No, please give me yours and I’ll maybe call you.”

Well, “maybe” turned into two weeks of disappointment, but I ran into her again today at the same store and she said all sheepish, in a little girl voice, that she was sorry she didn’t call me, but she is married.

I told her she could have told me that initially, but she said she had fun flirting with me since it was boring being married, even though she loved her husband. 

That’s just what I didn’t need to hear. I’ve been scared of getting married for that very reason. She told me she has been married for 17 long years and wiggled her diamond rings at me. I laughed a little, but I was very disappointed.

To avoid this happening ever again, when should I have asked for this lady’s marital status? At the ice cream treats? When we started shopping all over the store together? At the checkout?

Seriously, do you ask right away, when you’re flirting, to save wasted time investment? — Need Singles Signs, Osborne Village

Dear Need Singles Signs: Part of the reason for wedding rings is so you don’t have to ask those questions of married people, but it seems this woman in purple was so dazzling you couldn’t see hers, or maybe she slipped them in her purse the day you were playing in the store.

Some people say there should be a “singles ring.” What do readers think?

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a terrible problem I’m afraid to tell my wife: I have gotten my old girlfriend pregnant.

I sometimes slip up and go see my ex-girlfriend, who plays love slave for me and allows me to act out my dominant feelings. My wife doesn’t want any of that kinky stuff, as she calls it.

I couldn’t marry my ex-girlfriend before because she was scared to marry me because I was always out of work, so I married my present wife on the rebound and because I had gotten her pregnant.

We have a beautiful kid, so I’m not sorry for that, but I am sorry she is my wife because she is so lazy and boring. I don’t think she has ever really loved me, but she wanted help with the child.

One time my ex-girlfriend and I forgot the birth control, and now she’s pregnant and is going to keep the baby because she says she loves me so much.

I don’t know what to do. Five years after she refused to marry me, I have a good job and good money. She would marry me now for sure.

I really love her and want to be with her, but not lose the child I already have. — Rock and a Hard Place, Winnipeg

Dear Rock and a Hard Place: This is a mess, but one thing you know for sure: you have a new child coming into this world and, at the very least, you will need to make that second child also feel loved and wanted, and pay proper support for that baby.

You’re going to have to tell your wife, but when?

It sounds like you’re going to leave her and go be with the woman you love, now that she’ll have you.  In the meantime, there is a child already walking on the planet who needs his dad.

You really need to talk to a relationship counsellor and work out a plan for your life, the timing of things, the financials and the balancing act between these two mothers of your children.

Start by going to Klinic’s free drop-in counselling at 870 Portage Ave. Call 204-784-4090 for specific hours and plan to get there a couple of hours before closing if you have to go later in the day, so there is time for a session.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6