Group sex with ex would be a mess

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/11/2017 (2877 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife says she still loves me, but she’s bored with the sex we have. Believe me, we’ve tried everything a couple could do.

I suspected she had something else on her agenda, so I dug it out of her, telling her I would be fine with any possible thing she said, even group sex.

I wasn’t expecting this, though: she had people picked out for group sex already.

We have recently become friends with a couple where my wife is very familiar with the guy because he was her boyfriend way back when, like 10-12 years ago.

She claimed he was no threat because she found him too quick in bed, though nice to talk to.

He is that, and I don’t mind the guy, but I’m suspicious she’s now suggesting group sex with this old boyfriend who just lost a bunch of weight and is all pumped up. I look kind of blimpy beside him.

I tried to cover my shock and upset. She said she would feel more comfortable having group sex when it’s not a strange guy.

To make things worse, I’ve been fighting off a physical attraction to this guy’s girlfriend since we started hanging out and doing things with them. What do you think? — Kind of Shocked, North End

Dear Kind of Shocked: Stop! Nothing but misery lies ahead. Let’s say you have some drinks to loosen things up. You’re not going to be that excited about your wife in this scenario, nor is she going to be excited about getting with you.

She’s already let on she’s bored with you and your moves. Your wife is going to go straight for her old boyfriend to start out.

That leaves you with the lady you’re attracted to. That kind of thing shows.

So instead of an equal ball of snakes playing mating games together, you now have two new couples in the bedroom.

In effect, it’s turned into a swinging situation, with all the emotional complications that go with that. Dig in your heels and refuse to go there, unless you want big trouble, lots of crying and a possible end to your relationship.

Why walk into a potential nightmare? Better to rent elaborate costumes (not Halloween stuff) and just pretend to be other people — no harm done.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I saw a large man coming towards me with a big walking stick when I was out late with my dog (about 2 a.m.).

I was having trouble sleeping and was trying to tire out my body. We were about 10 blocks from my house on a dark street, with few lights.

It was the first time I’ve been afraid, when I had my big dog with me. My heart was pounding!

The man just smiled, said “Good evening” and walked on by.

I always felt I was the one who was armed before by having this scary-looking dog who would defend me to the death, but this man had a stick.

Maybe there was nothing to fear, but I didn’t feel safe.

Is it the news that’s spooking me these days? Am I afraid for nothing, or do I need some kind of spray, or what? — Scared Big Baby, East Winnipeg

Dear Scared Big Baby: There’s an atmosphere of fear in the world these days, and you may well have been reacting to that.

It’s likely this man was worried about slipping on the ice and needed something for balance.

He may also be afraid about violence, as men can get robbed by thugs who come along, especially if they’re in a group.

So take a reasonable approach to safety. Go out with your dog on well-travelled streets at busier times.

Don’t go walking late at night where no one else goes. Also don’t listen to music on earphones while walking so you can’t hear what’s going on around you, particularly behind you.

Ditto for yakking on your cell, though you should have a phone to call for help if a bad situation arises. Stick closer to home where it’s familiar.