Verbal slap could lead to further retaliation

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/01/2018 (3179 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was walking down a street near my work when this woman I vaguely recognized approached me and, to my shock and amazement, slapped my freezing face.

“That’s for cheating with my husband!” she said. She named him, and then stalked off. She wasn’t wrong about the affair, which has ended, although she had no business striking me. She started walking away fast, thinking (I guess) that I might kick her ass or call 911.

The slap didn’t really hurt that much, and then I started to laugh at this stupid little drama. She slowed down and I yelled after her, “He was worth it, baby!”

I could see her turn in shock, like I had slapped her back. I don’t mind a little street justice, but that doesn’t mean I can’t hit back in my own way. I’ve been thinking, though, do you think she’ll come after me again?

What should I do if she does?

— Prepping Myself For Trouble, Winnipeg

Dear Prepping Myself for Trouble: If you see her again, get out of her way. The shock she felt when you shouted that crack back at her will have turned into different nasty emotions by the time she recovered. If you were wise, you would have let her get away with the slap that hardly hurt, which was not a bad deal considering all the action you got from her husband. You could have been sure she would stay out of your way. Now you have to watch over your shoulder and learn to get control of that smart mouth of yours. You’re on your own with that, girlfriend.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m attracted to manly men: tall macho men, guys in blue-collar jobs, men in uniform, guys like that. But they’re not that attracted to me, a big tall girl. They seem to like feminine fluff. I can’t hide my weightlifting days, height and musculature, but I’m all woman. How do I get big manly men to look at me, a big (not fat) woman with great hair and all the right parts?

— Love Those He-Men Types, Downtown

Dear Love Those He-Men Types: You might want to hang out at the gym and wear feminine clothes in pinks and mauves, not sporty colours at all, plus fluff up your hair and use nail polish top and bottom. That combination could be a winner for some guys who like Amazon-type women but don’t want to guess for even one minute at a woman’s sexual preference.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just got the boot from a woman who lives in my apartment block. She is going to no end of trouble to avoid me now. I saw her coming down the back steps when I drove in last night, and she’s scared of the back lane when it’s dark out. I know that from knowing her intimately for half a year.

I want her back so bad! Here’s what I did wrong: I asked her to move in with me so we could save on rent, instead of saying, “I love you, I want you and I want to start living with you.” I tried to be casual and play it cool by using the money-saving card. Now what?

— Not a Cheapskate, Osborne Village

Dear Not a Cheapskate: You’re in trouble, buddy, because you sounded cheap and unloving. Send this lady an expensive bouquet of flaming red roses (not the dark red) and a fairly big card, and not the little free one.

Explain that you do love her madly, want to live with her and it’s not about anything else. Confess you were just too chicken to say the emotional words outright.

If it turns out she doesn’t want you, no matter what, she’s still got the blooms to look at and think of you, and feel like she might have lost something, and you haven’t lost a deep mutual love. Instead, you may have found out the real truth about this relationship — it isn’t all that deep.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography