KO Romeo’s hopes for romantic rematch

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 04/03/2018 (3092 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I slept with an older man on the first date, thinking it was a lark and I’d never see him again. The man can’t stop calling! I don’t want “Round Two” as he so charmingly calls it. He’s a boxing enthusiast. I keep telling him it was great fun, but I’m not into a repeat. Last time he said, “Baby, that was a knockout in the first round. We gotta get together at least one more time.”

I said three nights ago to this blockhead, “I am not a boxer and I have no emotional feelings for you except annoyance. So, stop calling.” He called again tonight to suggest “another match.” What should I do? He makes me sick.

— Disgusted, St. Boniface

Dear Disgusted: Block him everywhere, so he can’t even leave you a message on your phone, cell, Facebook, anywhere. Call the phone company and tell them you have asked him repeatedly not to call you ever again, and yet he persists in calling and calling. They’ll tell you how to block him on the number he calls from, but he could try calling from elsewhere, so take down all numbers he uses, and keep reporting them. Tell him, should you get another surprise call, you’re ready to lay charges.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband’s 36-year-old spoiled, manipulative daughter is planning another visit to see her “daddy.” She lives in a different province and gets her dad’s undivided attention, even at the cost of any plans he and I had previously made. It’s like he can’t be a husband and a dad at the same time.

She has been unbelievably cruel, excludes me and lies. After over 15 years of trying to get along with her, I stated clearly that she was not welcome in my home due to her rudeness. She can get a hotel or stay with other relatives.

My husband, also passive-aggressive, does not want to challenge her behaviour, wants me to always start a fresh new day, not looking at past behaviour. But for me, it has piled up, because it hasn’t been dealt with. I know she and her “daddy” want her to stay in our home when she comes out, and she said to him she’d be open to a possible reconciliation, which he sees as positive.

I’m done with trying, but my stomach still gets upset at the concept of her being around and messing with my husband’s and my plans. Do you have any suggestions how to handle this idea of a fake reconciliation?

— Heart’s Wrenching

Dear Heart’s Wrenching: Your husband needs to go visit his daughter much more. When she comes to visit him — maybe once a year — YOU be away on a trip with your girlfriends having fun. I’m not talking about a visit to your sister or mom, where you’d brood the whole time. Instead, go on a trip to a sunspot, New York, Las Vegas or Europe, which involves drinks and dinners and shows and shopping — lots of fun and laughter. That’ll keep your mind off home. I get the feeling your marriage is fine outside of this power struggle. So, pour some ticket money on the problem and rob this 36-year-old of her power games.

Now let me tell you my secret thought: your husband knows what his daughter is doing, but he just can’t bear the thought of losing her, so he shuts his ears and hopes against hope for peace, which is not going to happen… keep your marriage happy — his second marriage, I presume — and deprive his daughter of her hope of driving a wedge between you and your husband.

Some adult children of divorce still harbour the hope that their bio-parents will get back together, as impossible as that may be.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography